Beeper Wars
by Arwendle
Summary: When Alec is left alone with Max's pager...M/A
1. It all started with that damn beeper

Beeper Wars  
  
By Arwendle  
  
Pairing M/A  
  
Set after H/G  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own not mine. But if I really wanted to I could break into Jensens house and steal him. I mean he only lives 20 minutes from my house…  
  
The beeper just wouldn't shut up! Why Max didn't just accept the fact that beepers were redundant and get a cell phone was totally beyond Alec's comprehension. Alec could deal with the reasoning that beepers couldn't be tracked and accept that Max kept it as a saftey precaution…maybe. But when she left it at Joshua's while he was trying to watch television in peace he came close to snapping. He has tried to ignore it but the damn thing just kept going off. The off switch obviously wasn't working. He turned it to vibrate and shoved it in the bottom of a drawer and smothered it in pillows. "There", he thought "all better." He went back to watching an old Friends rerun. It didn't help. With his super hearing even smothered in pillows it sounded like a really loud fly buzzing endlessly around his head. He couldn't take it anymore. Alec threw down the remote and seeing only red, went after the beeper he was going to make pay for its' crimes.  
  
Alec held the beeper in its hand and thought of all the glorious ways that he could torture it to death. He glanced down at the code… But first he was going to deal with the only person stupid enough to not figure out a pattern after paging Max 43… The beeper buzzed again …make that 44 times in one hour and getting no response.  
  
He dialled Logan's number.  
  
"Max"  
  
" No actually this is your second favourite transgenic"  
  
"You don't sound like Joshua"  
  
"Ha very funny buddy. You should be a comedian."  
  
"Alec why are you calling me again?"  
  
"I need you to do me a big favour."  
  
"Uh-huh…"  
  
"STOP paging Max! Her beeper is driving me insane."  
  
"Max is there?"  
  
"No she is not here! Don't you think that if she were here she would have called to scream at you by now? I mean seriously 44 times is slightly excessive even for…"  
  
"I always call her this many times. (pause) Why do you have Max's pager?"  
  
"Oh she left it here at my place last night. Now was there something you needed to tell Max or were you just testing to see how long her pager batteries would last."  
  
"I need to talk to her."  
  
"About…"  
  
"Alec I really don't want to discuss this with you."  
  
"Whatever. I'll tell her you called." Alec clicked the disconnect button on his phone and placed it back in his pocket.  
  
He picked up the beeper and contemplated its demise.  
  
  
  
20 minutes later  
  
Alec stood with the meat cleaver high above his head poised for the kill. As his victim lay buzzing it's final notes on a solid wood cutting board. He was so intent on the kill he missed the sound of footsteps behind him.  
  
"I'm going to cut you up into little pieces then grind you into dust and feed you to Logan." He chortled as the blade swept downwards.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The blade stopped inches above the pager.  
  
"Nothing Max. Just making a sandwich." Alec said glaring at the pager.  
  
"With my beeper?"  
  
The item in question buzzed again.  
  
"That is the 53rd time in the last hour and a half that thing has gone off." Alec said very quietly and controlled " It deserves to die" Max looked at him oddly.  
  
" Manticore did not teach us to deal with psycho norms that can't take a hint." Alec said futilely.  
  
"Give me the pager Alec."  
  
"I'll buy you a cell phone Max I promise."  
  
"Alec give me my pager" Max said getting annoyed.  
  
"I'm sorry. I can't do that Max"Alec pocketed the pager and grabbed his leather jacket off a chair.  
  
"Where the hell are you going?"  
  
" Out."  
  
"Not with my pager you're not."  
  
"You'll have to catch me first" With that Alec took off running at Manticore speed. Max took off after him. She jumped on her Ninja but the way he was dodging into alleyways and scaling buildings she was much better off chasing him on foot. She ditched the bike and ran after him as if possessed. It wasn't about the beeper. She hated the thing and the number of times Logan paged her on it. She herself had thought of killing it in the past more than once. There was no way she was going to let Alec know that though, and there was no way she was going to let him get away with this. It was principle.  
  
Alec climbed the wall of an old warehouse quickly and efficiently. It felt good to stretch his legs. Max was 10ft behind him and coming fast but she wasn't gaining. Max might be as fast and agile as he was but she lacked technique and it was slowing her down just enough. He reached the roof of the warehouse and sprinted across the ridge like it was a soccer field. Now Max was up and sprinting too. They were perfectly matched neither gaining nor losing as the chase continued. Alec leapt across to an adjacent roof without even the slightest of wobbles.  
  
Then the beeper buzzed again. Alec was momentarily distracted and that was the moment that Max sprang.  
  
Like a cat she glided up in the air impossibly fast but so precise it could have been in slow motion. Her feet connected with Alec's chest and he went flying backwards and through the roof. Max calmly strode to the opening and peered down. Expecting to see Alec lying on his back on the floor.  
  
She saw only the empty concrete floor and a bunch of dusty crates.  
  
Then Alec's hand emerged through the opening quickly and pulled her down headfirst. Max flipped and landed softly on her feet. She turned to see Alec springing down from the rafters.  
  
She went for him and he stood and waited. This was nothing like the time she fought him in the boxing ring. They were matching each other hit for hit. The momentum was building and the moves got quicker and somehow impossibly precise. Max was moving faster than she ever had. Then the moves became too fast even for their enhanced sight to see. But that had become irrelevant. At some point during the fight they had stopped being adversaries and had become a single entity of movement and motion. Each could anticipate the others moves without thought. The battle began to resemble the grace of a ballet. The fighting continued to accelerate and then without warning it stopped.  
  
They both took a step back and sat down out of breath.  
  
"Wow!" Max said panting. " That was better than sex."  
  
Alec could only nod "waaaaaaaaay better."He finally added. He fished in his jacket and pulled out the beeper, which had been smashed during the fighting and was now making a half strangled electronic gurgling sound.  
  
"Logan really doesn't give up does he?" Alec scowled  
  
Max smirked then added"You do realise you're buying me a cell phone."  
  
Alec's scowl reversed "I'll buy you a new cell phone as soon as I'm finished making this pager pay for its crimes." He glanced up. "And you are going to help me."  
  
"Whatever did you have in mind?" Max grinned evilly. 


	2. Death to beepy

Beeper Wars  
  
Chapter 2  
  
By Arwendle  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own nuttin.  
  
  
  
"Ready Max?" She nodded. She was lying on the edge of the space needle staring down towards the ground. Alec was beside her in a similar position. Between them was a massive mound of rocks, pieces of metal and various pieces of debris that Alec had laughingly christened "The Projectile Pile."  
  
"It's time to test Newtons laws of physics." Alec said. Grabbing a rock from the pile.  
  
"3" Max held the beeper high above her head like a talisman,  
  
"2," Her arm began it's descent.  
  
"1" Her fingers let the beeper slip into space and fall downwards to the distant ground. They began pelting the beeper with the rocks as it's made its way to the ground. Their aim was deadly accurate and the beeper didn't have a chance. Max was about to throw another stone when Alec grab her hand. It was like a connection had snapped open in her the second he touched her. It was the same feeling she had had when they were fighting. Perfectly in tune and somehow for the first time ever, not alone. She sensed that Alec felt it too but he shrugged it off.  
  
"Watch." He whispered in glee.  
  
She watched. She could see the beeper perfectly even in the pitch dark as it connected with the ground and shattered into a million pieces.  
  
Alec's hand that was still touching hers. It felt… right. Not in a romantic kind of way…just like it was a link. Max decided to ignore it. She was pretty positive that if Alec had any idea what she was thinking he would harrass her about it until the end of her days. Best to remain silent. She pulled Alec up. "Let's go see where it landed." She said and pulled him towards the elevator shaft.  
  
There was a dent in the pavement where the beeper had hit. Alec stared at it. Satisfied that the beeper had paid.  
  
They headed to Joshua's.  
  
They found Joshua curled up in the old armchair with a book fallen open on his chest. He was snoring softly. Max gently took the book from his hands and placed it back on the shelf. Then Alec picked him up like he was a child and carried him to his bedroom. Max tucked Joshua in and placed a motherly kiss on his forehead. Then she joined Alec at the door. They both glanced at Joshua sleeping and smiled slightly. Instinctively Max leaned back into Alec and he put an arm around her shoulder.  
  
After Max left Alec tried to sleep. Finding that impossible Alec retreated to the basement and opened up the piano. His fingers softly stroked the keys. He needed to think. He needed to get lost in the music. The first chords sounded soft, gentle, and rhythmic. Then the melody started and the music took the shape of his thoughts. What had happened earlier at the warehouse? Why did he suddenly feel like something had clicked and completed a circuit within him? The questions rang out in the music. Why did he feel alone now that Max was gone? He would play until he found the answers. He closed his eyes, bowed his head and let his fingers go where they would.  
  
Max needed to think, but all her thinking spots seemed to permeate Alec. She needed an explaination of what was happening to her. She felt no different than she ever had. It was just that what she had always had didn't seem good enough anymore. It wasn't that she just couldn't define what emotions she was feeling. She found herself going in circles. By 6 am she was back at Joshua's. Even as she walked up the steps she could hear Alec playing. The music made images in her head and seamed to caress her. She descended the stairs into the basement. Alec looked up at her questioningly. "Teach me how to play Alec". Alec moved over and she placed her hands tentatively on the keys. Alec placed his hands on top of hers and the feeling of completeness returned. Slowly together they began to play.  
  
A/n Sorry that this chapter is super short. It's a transitional chapter that bridges the first chapter to the rest of the plot. Next chapter will be better I PROMISE. Up next Alec and Max go cell phone shopping and Logan presents Max with a brand new…beeper. 


	3. Scarlet and the Spy Squirrels

"Alec for the last time! I don't need A cell phone. I need THAT cell phone" Max pleaded her nose pressed firmly against the glass of a display case. THAT cell phone was the Mona Lisa of all cell phones. Diamond plated, completely indestructible and with more gadgets than Logan's whole computer system. It was a masterpiece and the second Max had seen it, she wanted it. Alec had looked at the price and swallowed.  
  
"Um…Max. I don't think that you need a cell phone like that. I mean it's a big leap from a beeper to a cell phone. One that I think you need to take very slowly. You know what you need? Cell phone training wheels. Maybe we should look at some of the (Alec cleared his throat) less expensive models. Like this one." Alec picked up and old clunky phone from the 1990's and flashed his trademark grin.  
  
"Were you in the remedial class back at Manticore? Training wheels? And besides Alec that thing is older than I am. "  
  
" Come on Max, it's a classic!"  
  
" You're such a cheapskate! Besides don't you think that Scarlet belongs with an owner of equal genes?"  
  
"Scarlet? You named the cell phone?"  
  
Max blushed " Shut up Alec!"  
  
"What's with you and naming things?"  
  
" I should have called you Dick. That is a mistake that will haunt me forever" Max turned back to the display case. "Alec she's so pretty can I at least hold her?"  
  
Alec sighed and looked again at the price. It was going to take a lot of midnight burglaries to pay this one off. He motioned to the saleswoman who had been making flirtatious gestures for the last hour as he and Max had traversed the store. She unlocked the case and handed it to Alec on a red velvet cloth. Max huddled in close and they ohhhhhed and ahhhhed like it was a baby.  
  
"It's so small" Max whispered.  
  
"And look at the tiny buttons. They're so perfect." Alec responded in awe. Max scrolled through the games, word processing programs, and movies that were stored on the cell phone. The more she saw the more she wanted it. Alec could swear his wallet felt lighter already. Then she found it. The melody they had played that morning wafted through the store.  
  
"Alec it rings with our song! Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssseeee. I'll be your slave for a week." Alec resigned himself to his fate.  
  
"Fine Max you can have it." Max squealed in delight. "But you have to help on the jobs that I'll need to make up the difference. And very importantly you must NEVER EVER tell Logan the number. I don't think that we can drop this one off the space needle."  
  
Max smiled a huge smile and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek.  
  
  
  
Max was acting strange Logan thought. She was sitting on his couch her leg lightly touching Alec's as he sat next to her. They would sit perfectly still, then suddenly they would break into a tickle fight or a slapping war. They were acting like hyper kittens and it was getting on his nerves. If that wasn't enough every couple of minutes Max would excuse herself and retreat to the bathroom. Logan was getting annoyed. He had important saving the world work to get on with and he didn't have time to deal with these amateurs. The latest tickle fight had ended but only because Alec had secured both of Max's hands in his. Logan stared at the intertwined fingers jealously.  
  
" So Max, I tried paging you." he said after he overcame the lump in his throat.  
  
"Oh yeah. I meant to tell you. My pager fell off the Space Needle." Max said. Beside her she felt Alec tense as he suppressed a grin.  
  
"You're joking right?" Logan asked.  
  
"No I was holding it and it slipped out of my hand. Shattered into a million pieces. You can see the dent in the sidewalk where it landed."  
  
"To my calculations it would have fallen 183 metres or 605ft accelerating at a speed of 9.8m/s/s meaning that it would have hit the ground at a velocity of over 60 m/s." Alec said doing the math in his head. "Unless Max threw it. Then the velocity could have reached speeds upwards of 100m/s. I expect that she threw it considering the way it shattered"  
  
" You saw it?" Logan asked Alec sceptically.  
  
Alec shook his head. "Only the remains. Pretty gruesome. It was something that no one should ever have to see." Max elbowed Alec in the ribs.  
  
" Can you two excuse me a minute. I need to use the bathroom." Max said getting up. Alec met her eyes. She reluctantly unentwined her fingers from his and lost the connection.  
  
"You've used the bathroom 6 times in the last 20 minutes." Logan said suspiciously.  
  
Max shrugged " A girls gotta pee." Max walked calmly around the corner and as soon as she was out of sight. Sprinted to the bathroom and pulled out the cell phone.  
  
Once Max returned Logan explained his latest Eyes Only Mission. "Seattle's squirrel population is in danger because of a by-law that forbids people to feed them. I think that the Mayor means to eliminate the squirrel population and release his own spy squirrels, which will bring back information on every citizen of this City. He means to use this information for his own corrupt purposes. Eventually these squirrels will become assassins and no one will be safe. Once the squirrels are released they cannot be traced, they cannot be stopped, and there will be no free voice in this city."  
  
"Do they last exactly 60 seconds?" Alec asked.  
  
Logan looked at him not understanding.  
  
"Alec be serious. The squirrel assassins are a major threat."  
  
" You're right Logan I'm sorry. I only spent the first 20 years of my life in a government facility learning to be an assassin. One who had the highest success rate of all the X-series. A cyber journalist like you would defiantly know more about the threat of squirrel assassins." Alec quipped back.  
  
" May I continue?" Logan asked Max. She nodded and nudged Alec into silence.  
  
Logan rolled over to the computer and brought up a map of Seattle. "My sources say that this is the facility where the squirrels are being held." Logan tapped the screen. "I want you to destroyed the facility and bring all the research files back here."  
  
"Hey, Max is really good at destroying military bases but she has a tendency to let everyone out…"  
  
"We'll do it." Max cut in. She rose. "Bathroom."  
  
  
  
" The guards change at 11:30pm. Logan run interference in the surveillance video. If Alec enters through this pipe here and I enter here. We can lay the charges underneath the cages and blow it when we reach here. In and out in 15 minutes." Max said studying the map. "We'll call you when we're done."  
  
Logan didn't like not being able to reach Max. It made him feel nervous. The way she was acting with Alec was making him nervous too. He had doubted before that there had been anything going on but now…he wasn't quite so sure. He knew what she needed. Max needed a present she loved presents and he knew just what to get her. Logan strapped on his exoskeleton and went to the store.  
  
A/n: Sorry I gotta go the Canucks are playing the Redwings and winning 3-1 I can't keep writing and watching at the same time. I will write more soon.  
  
A/n2: sorry I'm from Vancouver and so I only know metric. For anyone that doesn't know 100m is the length of an Olympic sprint. 


	4. Squirrels attack!

The sign at the front of the building said Warner's Sports Equipment Warehouse. The supposedly 'abandoned' Warner's warehouse was swarming with guards.  
  
"Maybe Logan was on to something." Alec whispered. "Only covert government operations are stupid enough to post 20 guards outside a warehouse that's supposed to be empty." Max nodded her agreement as they easily slipped through the guards. "Or post guards that easy."  
  
Inside the warehouse there were boxes and boxes of baseball bats, hockey sticks and various other pieces of sports equipment that had been left when the warehouse was abandoned. " I don't see any squirrels." Said Alec after a thorough investigation of the warehouse. "We should get going. There's nothing to see here."  
  
"Just let me check my messages first." Max said.  
  
Alec wandered over to a crate and leaned against it. "Deal with it Max." He said "Logan's a nut. Not just a nut but a really cracked one. I mean really…Squirrel assassins?" It was that same instant that Alec heard the scratching of claws on wood and looked up to see hundreds of squirrels raining down on him.  
  
"Shit!" he cried "Max get a baseball bat" He attempted to protect himself from the falling rodents but how does one fight a squirrel? He managed to kill around 40 before the squirrels swarmed him and Alec was lost in a ball of roiling fur. Muffled shouts of "Max! Max!" wafted from somewhere in the middle of the squirrels but Max wasn't paying attention. She was fixated on her new cell phone and any attempt to get her attention was futile. With the last reserves of his super human strength Alec reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone.  
  
Max's cell phone rang and she gave a yelp of glee and answered it. " Hello?"  
  
"A little help here please?" Alec's voice yelled through scarlet.  
  
"Hey Alec look at this. My cell phone has a digital camera built in. Say cheese." Alec threw one of the squirrels that was biting his ear against the wall and glared at Max. The cell phone flashed and took a picture.  
  
" Now Max! Get a baseball bat!"  
  
" Alec will you just calm down?"  
  
" Calm down? You're not the one covered in squirrel assas…" before he could finish one of the squirrels decided that Alec's mouth would be an interesting place to visit. He put his little claws on Alec's teeth and shoved his head inside. Alec gagged as the whiskers ticked his throat. Max snapped another picture with her cell phone and pulled a bat from an open crate.  
  
"Time to play ball boys." She said. Alec kicked a squirrel off his legs and it went flying. Max wound up and hit the flying bundle of fur and claws as it hurtled towards her.  
  
"Home run!" She yelled and Alec kicked another.  
  
  
  
" I think I have squirrel pee all over my pants." Alec complained as they zoomed away on Max's bike leaving the burning warehouse behind them. The bike screeched to a halt.  
  
" Off!" Max ordered.  
  
"What? What did I do?" Alec asked confused  
  
"Take off your pants."  
  
" Max?"  
  
"Unless you want to walk home! How dare you defile my baby like that." She said patting the seat of her Ninja." Alec hesitated. "I said take them off."  
  
"Max…" Alec, said desperately.  
  
"Do it!"  
  
"Fine you asked for it!" Alec dropped his pants to reveal…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"TIGHTY WHITIES!?" Max laughed.  
  
"Hey. I just haven't got around to doing laundry this week. They were all I had left."  
  
"It's still something no one should ever see."  
  
" Hey! I've never had any complaints before, and besides you should be grateful. I was seriously considering going commando today."  
  
" Thanks for the picture. Now get on."  
  
With that they set off. Max driving and Alec holding on behind her in his leather jacket and tighty whitie underwear.  
  
Before the bike even stopped outside Joshua's Alec jumped of and sprinted to the shower. He emerged half an hour later, pink from the scrubbing. He was brushing his teeth and was standing shirtless with his hair messy and damp. Max noticed the long scratch that went from his collarbone to his navel. She couldn't resist. She reached out and traced it with her finger.  
  
"Let me see." She said. The toothbrush froze and eyebrows raised. Her other hand slid around his back and found more scratches. His skin was hot and felt like velvet over stone. The connection was electric.  
  
"How did you get scratches here?" She asked, " You were wearing your jacket."  
  
"The squirrels went under it like this." Alec replied and the hand not holding the toothbrush slid under her shirt and up her silky back. Joshua came into the room and They froze.  
  
"I should probably call Logan" Max said pulling away.  
  
  
  
As soon as she entered Logan's place Max noticed the atmosphere. The soft music playing in the background, the rose petals strewn across the floor and the white candles that flickered from every possible perch. The table was set for two and in the middle of it was a huge box wrapped in gold foil. Logan emerged behind her.  
  
" A bottle of pre-pulse champange?" He asked.  
  
"Logan what is all this?"  
  
"It's dinner Max."  
  
"Logan we broke up. I can't do this…"  
  
"Just for old times sake Max." Max smiled. She really did love Logan and she missed these dinners.  
  
"All right." she agreed. " For old times sake."  
  
Logan nodded to the present in the center of the table. "Open it."  
  
Max ripped off the foil and opened the box. Inside the box was a smaller box.  
  
"Let's have some pasta before you open the box." Logan suggested. The evening progressed and between each course Max would open the present always to find a smaller box inside. Max thought that she should be finding the whole affair very enchanting but it felt emotionally empty. Nothing like that moment she had had with Alec.  
  
A lump settled in the pit of her stomach as the box reached the size of what could only be a ring box. Logan looked on expectantly as Max ripped open the paper. Then she saw what the present contained and gasped. "What the hell is that!" and dropped the present on the ground like it was on fire.  
  
A/n: No animals were harmed in the writing of this story. I cut out most of the animal brutality. 


	5. The gift

Alec was sitting boredly flipping channels when Max burst in the room. She looked like she was trying very hard not to cry. Alec immediately jumped to his feet and took her into his embrace.  
  
"Max what's wrong?" He whispered into her hair.  
  
"L-L-Logan. He gave me this." 'He's given her a ring" Alec thought. Then he looked down at Max's open hand. He scrambled backwards tripping over a chair.  
  
" Holy Shit! Get that thing away from me!"  
  
In Max's outstretched palm there was a perfect copy of her recently murdered beeper.  
  
"He gave that to you?" Alec asked. Max nodded.  
  
"But how…" He asked futilely. "We killed it."  
  
"It's a clone." She replied. Then the clone in question beeped in her hand. Max jumped and threw it against the wall. Plaster crumbled to the floor with the pager. The beeping stopped. The two X-5's huddled together in the corner tentatively went forward to investigate. They were crawling on hands and knees like cats cornering their prey.  
  
"Maybe you killed it." Alec said hopefully as they neared the fallen beeper. Then it beeped again and they recoiled in terror. They crouched behind the couch and waited for the nightmare to end.  
  
"Alec, go get the beeper." Max insisted.  
  
"No way. I'm not touching that thing. You do it." He replied.  
  
Joshua entered the room.  
  
"Josh! Over here buddy." Alec called. Joshua came over.  
  
"What Max and Alec doing behind the couch?"  
  
"We're building a fort. Hey Josh do you see that beeper on the floor over there?" Joshua nodded. "Pick it up and turn it off."  
  
Joshua walked over, picked up the tiny beeper and flicked the switched.  
  
"There's a note on this." He said putting it down on the coffee table. Max got up from behind the couch and picked up the beeper like it was a piece of mouldy bread. On the underside was a yellow sticky. Max read it out loud.  
  
"Max, we may be apart but we can always be in touch. So I am replacing your beeper with one that can survive falls from the space needle. This one is touted as indestructible. May communication never be a problem again. Love Logan.  
  
I can't even kill It.," she cried. Max dropped the beeper back on the coffee table and slumped down in a chair. Alec sat down beside her and cuddled her like she was a baby.  
  
"It's okay Max." He said. "We'll find a way. There has to be a way."  
  
Joshua just stood there. He had no idea what was going on.  
  
  
  
Logan watched the computer screen. The camera he had had installed in the pager was working perfectly. He could see the entire contents of Max's pocket. Then he was out in the light. 'Joshua's house' he thought. Then the beeper focused on Alec. Logan growled deep in his throat. He could see Alec's arms going around Max. He couldn't see their faces but he could guess. Then Alec looked directly at the camera and jumped back. 'Shit' Logan thought. 'He knows there's a camera.' Alec was on his back yelling something at Max. 'He had to call her and explain' Logan thought and paged her. The wall came hurtling towards the camera and all Logan could see was the ceiling of Joshua's living room.  
  
Then he saw Max and Alec peering at the pager. 'They were so on to him.' He paged Max again. Max and Alec jumped back and disappeared from view. 'They were behaving very oddly' Logan thought and paged Max again. 15 minutes passed then he saw Joshua bend down and pick the pager up. His breath fogged the camera. When it cleared he saw Max reading the note. She dropped the pager and went to sit in a chair. Alec sat down and hugged her close. The bile rose in Logan's throat and he ran to the bathroom.  
  
When her returned Max and Alec were still cuddled in the chair but now Alec had the remote and was flipping through the channels while Max played with the hair at the nape of his neck.  
  
  
  
Alec was having a hard time concentrating on the television as Max's fingers lightly stroked the back of his neck. He had always hated being touched there in the past. When Rachel had touched him there it was like she was reminding him of the lie she believed him to be. When other women had touched him there it had made him feel dirty. They didn't understand all that his barcode represented. Most had not even noticed it as they pulled him close. But somehow Max touching it felt right. Maybe because she had a barcode too. Maybe because she knew exactly what he was and still wanted to touch him there. For whatever reason he found her gentle touch soothing and erotic at the same time. He pulled her close wanting nothing more than her simple touch.  
  
After awhile his eyes drooped and Max told him to go to bed. He didn't want to let her go. Reluctantly he rose and stumbled to his bed where he dreamed up ways to torture this new beeper.  
  
Logan was relieved when Alec had gone into another room without Max. He saw her reach for the pager and place it in her pocket.  
  
Max dumped the contents of her pockets on her bedside table before crawling into bed with a book.  
  
Logan could see Max sitting on her bed reading and decided that going to bed was becoming a pretty attractive idea. He left the computer on and went to bed.  
  
It was 4 am and Max was sleeping when Alec jumped on her.  
  
"Alec..? What are you doing?" She mumbled.  
  
"Couldn't sleep. I had the best idea. "He replied  
  
"mmhuh…" Max sighed and lay her head back down on her pillow.  
  
"Are you listening to me?" He asked.  
  
"No." She yawned and closed her eyes. Then Alec was underneath the covers and he was tickling her. Max tried not to giggle but she was too tired and soon both she and Alec were laughing like hyenas.  
  
"We'll wake up the neighbours," Max said between giggles.  
  
"Well then you had better listen to me." Alec replied.  
  
"I promise." Max said. Alec stopped. At some point during the fight he had lost his shirt. Max lay her head against his warm firm chest and listened.  
  
Logan got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. As he passed by the computer screen he noticed Alec was in Max's bed with her. She had her head on his bare chest and he was stroking her arm. They looked like they were laughing softly. 'What had happened?' He knew exactly what had happened. 'They had slept together and were now having an after sex chat. That was the only explanation. If he had been awake he could have stopped this.' Logan thought. It was then that he made his resolve to never sleep again. 


	6. Gladiator dreams

"The plan." Alec said, "is simple. A series of controlled experiments should disprove Logan's theory that the beeper is indestructible. Now I have a few preliminary ideas such as immersing it in boiling oil, letting a train run over it, and attaching it to an explosive device etc. We have a tight schedule but I think that we can get the whole list done in 24 hours. That way Logan can use the warranty." Max raised her head from his chest to look at him.  
  
" Alec…I don't know about this. I mean Logan gave it to me. I can't just destroy it."  
  
The beeper beside them beeped. They jumped.  
  
"I thought you turned it off." Alec said.  
  
"I did…That's funny I don't remember turning it back on."  
  
The beeper beeped again.  
  
"What's Logan doing paging you at 4:30 in the morning anyways? It's like he's asking for you to try and kill it."  
  
The beeps were constant and unending now.  
  
"I don't know." Max replied "It must be urgent." She picked up Scarlet and dialled.  
  
Logan had been paging Max for 5 minutes. His only goal was to get Max's head off Alec's chest. When she finally did he pumped the air with his fist. Then Max reached for a phone. A cell phone. A cell phone that Logan had never seen before. The phone rang.  
  
"Hi Max," He said cheerily into the phone.  
  
"Logan it's 4:30 in the morning why are you paging me?" Came the grumpy voice from the other end of the line. It was then that Logan realised he didn't have an answer to that. Not one that she would accept anyways.  
  
"It's Normal." He replied. " I… My sources say that he maybe connected to the familiars in some way." *good one* Logan thought mentally patting himself on the back. "Normal? You've got to be kidding me."  
  
"I'm serious Max. I need you to go search his place see what you can find."  
  
"Tonight?"  
  
"Now Max! Something big is up I can feel it."  
  
"Fine I'll call you when I'm done."  
  
"Be careful Max."  
  
Logan hung up the phone. * Did Max get a cell phone and not tell him? * He wondered.  
  
  
  
"We have to go search Normal's place"  
  
"Now?" Alec asked.  
  
"Apparently. Wait here while I get my cat burgling stuff on."  
  
" Max I can't burgle in these pants." Alec pulled the covers aside to reveal red track pants. "I make enough noise in these for a normal human to hear."  
  
"No one said you had to."  
  
" You mean you're actually going to let me get out of this?" Alec asked hopefully.  
  
"Not a chance in hell." Max replied ruffling through her closet. She found what she was looking for and threw it on the bed. "Put this on."  
  
Alec looked down to find a gladiator outfit sprawled on the bed.  
  
"NO WAY!!!! No! Not happening." He yelled.  
  
"Alec I need you to…distract Normal."  
  
"You are sick! Do you know that? And who in their right mind has a gladiator costume in their closet anyways?"  
  
"Two words. Heat and Halloween. Now where did I put that rubbing oil…?"  
  
"You can't be serious."  
  
"Alec if you do this I will rub you in oil myself."  
  
Alec's eyebrow raised. "Keep talking" he prompted.  
  
"In my underwear" Max continued. Alec was such a pain in the ass she thought. Alec made a keep going gesture with his hand.  
  
"And I'll help you destroy my beeper." Max said wearily. Alec paused. When he saw that that was the best deal forthcoming he picked up the gladiator suit and put it on.  
  
  
  
" I need a sword Max" Alec complained as they sped down the street on the Ninja. "There is no way that Normal will buy it if I don't have a sword."  
  
"Alec shut up! Or I might just have to give you some wounds for Normal to tend."  
  
Max slowed the bike in front of Normal's house. The house was immaculate from the outside. They pried open a window and were instantly inside. They looked around them and stared.  
  
Logan tapped his fingers impatiently on the table. Max had left her pager on her bedside table leaving Logan with a view of her empty bed. The cell phone thing was bugging him. Maybe he should call Alec and ask if he got a new cell phone. Good idea Logan thought and reached for the phone.  
  
Max and Alec gawked at the room that confronted them. Every inch of wall space was covered in pictures of Alec. Most were taken from Jam Pony surveillance tapes but there were others. Alec drinking at crash. Alec delivering packages. Alec fighting in a ring.  
  
"Ok. I am officially very creeped out." Alec whispered.  
  
They heard stirring in the other room.  
  
"Go get em tiger." Max whispered and pushed him in the direction of the doorway.  
  
Normal was lying peacefully in his bed. Alec sat down in a chair next to life-sized cardboard cut out of himself. Alec relaxed Normal was snoring like a pig nothing was going to wake him. He readjusted his position in the chair and heard the crinkle of paper. Between the cushion and the chair Alec discovered a blue folder it was marked with the sign of the familiars. * Shit * Alec thought to himself and opened the folder. His designation stared back at him. Then Alec's cell phone rang. He stood up abruptly the folder in his hand. He was pretty sure this is what they had come for. He fumbled with his cell phone but it was too late. Normal stirred, sat up and rubbed his eyes. Alec hastily shoved the folder back under the chair and smiled at Normal.  
  
"Come here let me rub your aching muscles." Normal purred. Alec shuddered and took a step forward. Normal's oily hands caressed his skin and Alec focused on his hatred of the beeper to keep the contents of his stomach down. * His price had just gone up * Alec decided. * Max was going to help him give him that oil rub naked and she was going to help him torture Logan*  
  
Max had searched the house and found nothing. Now it was time to save Alec. She could hear his barely perceptible whimpering through the door and opened it to see Normal naked except for his Monty Cora boxing shorts with his slick hands caressing Alec's chest. Fingers pinched his nipple and Alec yelped.  
  
"Where's your sword Alec?" Normal asked.  
  
Alec looked imploringly at Max who snapped a picture with her cell phone and then quick as lightening put Normal back to sleep with a blow to the back of the head.  
  
"Now why couldn't we have done that in the first place?" Alec said annoyed.  
  
"And miss an opportunity to see you in a gladiator outfit?"  
  
"This better be the awesomest oil rub in the history of oil rubs." Alec grumbled as he grabbed the file and stuck it down the back of the leather skirt.  
  
Back at Max's. Max pushed Alec down onto her bed. Teasingly she unzipped her catsuit inch by inch. Revealing a lacy black bra and panties. Slowly deliberately she poured oil into her hands and slid them smoothly along Alec's chest. Alec moaned as she kneaded his firm muscles. She climbed on top of him and slid her scantily clad body along his. Her hands glided along Alec's arms and their finger intertwined. The file fell to the floor unnoticed. Alec ran his hands up Max's back as she ran her fingers through his hair. * This was definitely worth it. * Alec thought.  
  
Logan watched the scene in a haze of red. It was time to up the ante.  
  
  
  
A/n Sorry if I take long times between updates but school is really busy right now.  
  
A/n2 any suggestions people have for murdering the beeper please submit and I will incorporate as many good ones as I can into the story.  
  
A/n3 Thankyou for everyone who has reviewed you guys have been awesome. I was kind of worried that no one would review when I started because this is my first many chaptered fic! 


	7. The Squirrels Return

Previously on Beeper Wars:  
  
Back at Max's. Max pushed Alec down onto her bed. Teasingly she unzipped her catsuit inch by inch. Revealing a lacy black bra and panties. Slowly deliberately she poured oil into her hands and slid them smoothly along Alec's chest. Alec moaned as she kneaded his firm muscles. She climbed on top of him and slid her scantily clad body along his. Her hands glided along Alec's arms and their fingers intertwined. The file fell to the floor unnoticed. Alec ran his hands up Max's back as she ran her fingers through his hair. * This was definitely worth it. * Alec thought.  
  
Logan watched the scene in a haze of red. It was time to up the ante.  
  
And now we continue with our saga.  
  
Max leaned close to nuzzle Alec's neck. Her hands found his barcode and gently stroked it. In response Alec's hand rose to Max's barcode. There was a flash of light inside her. Max raised her head and looked down into Alec's seagreen eyes. What see saw there fascinated her she saw herself reflected there. She dipped lower to get a closer look. His gaze was penetrating her soul. Their lips touched in a feather kiss. Max felt more awake and alive than she had in a long time. She was blissfully aware of everything around her. It was like being with Alec rose her to an entirely new state of consciousness. Max felt like she had been asleep her whole life and was finally waking up. Alec pulled her to him. Intent on crushing her lips to his. The descent was painfully slow and seemed to hover, forgotten by time. Max could hear Original Cindy's footsteps as she headed towards Max's door. *No! * Max screamed in her mind as she heard Cindy's hand on the doorknob. *One second longer, just one second! * They were so close they were breathing the same air.  
  
Then Cindy's voice shattered the moment. "Whoa! Did I miss something here?"  
  
" It's not what it looks like." Max said pulling away from Alec. " I was just giving him an oil rub."  
  
Cindy raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Just giving him an oil rub? Since when do you give Alec oil rubs."  
  
" It's a long story…"  
  
" Max said that if I dressed up in a gladiator outfit and let Normal rub me, that she would give me an oil rub." Alec cut in.  
  
"Thanks Alec." Max said sarcastically  
  
"This is getting Waaaaaaay too kinky for OC. I think I'm going to go powder my nose." Cindy said as she turned to leave.  
  
"Oh we're finished. We have a busy day anyways don't we Alec?"  
  
"Yes we do." Said Alec. " Now I think that since we're already on an oil theme going we should start with the boiling oil."  
  
"Good plan."  
  
" I don't even want to know what you two are up to. See ya at work boo?"  
  
"Tell Normal that we won't be in today because I'm helping Alec train for his next fight."  
  
Max poured the last of the canola oil into the pot, placed it on the stove and covered it with the lid. Then she joined Alec at the kitchen table in making up a list of possible ways to destroy the beeper. 20 minutes later, when they were positive the oil was as hot as it was going to get. Alec retrieved the beeper from the bedroom. He chortled gleefully as he held his victim in his hand, plunged it into the bubbling liquid, and slammed the lid down.  
  
Logan who was working voraciously on some microphones and sound transmitters glanced up to see Alec smiling at the camera before the screen went dark. *What the heck is going on? * Logan thought. If it didn't clear up he was going to call Max.  
  
"Do you think it's dead?" Alec whispered after half an hour. " Shhhhh!" Max reprimanded. "It can hear you."  
  
"There is no way that thing survived." Alec said " It's deep fried. We are going to eat it like it's a french fry."  
  
" It has been silent for a really long time" Max mused "Maybe…" She got her tongs and gloves ready and put her hand on the lid of the pot. Then she heard the sound. The sound of a beep. A beep strangled and submerged but still very much alive.  
  
"It survived!" Max gasped and pulled the pager from the boiling oil.  
  
"I think it actually looks better than it did when it went in." Alec said unhappily.  
  
"Much shinier" Max agreed. " What's next on the list?"  
  
Alec consulted the list in front of him. "Sledgehammer."  
  
Alec stood in the middle of Max's apartment with the sledgehammer raised over his head. His well defined muscles clearly visible through his shirt. Max was having a hard time keeping herself from thinking about how those same muscles had felt under her fingers. Alec made a downward blow and came in contact with the beeper.  
  
Logan wondered what the hell Alec was up to. He saw Alec with a sledgehammer and then the beeper was falling through space. Unfamiliar faces crowded around. Then Logan recognised them as the people that lived below Max. Alec's face appeared through a whole far up in the ceiling. *Maybe he was becoming delusional. He had after all been awake for 24 hours. * " I really need to finish this audio feed." He muttered to himself.  
  
"Ok" Max, said. " So, so far we have immersed the beeper in boiling oil and nothing happened. Beat it with a sledgehammer and put a hole in my floor. Flushed it down the toilet, but it got stuck, the toilet backed up and flooded the apartment. We broke the chainsaw and grated the cheese grater and you tell me the thing doesn't even have a scratch!"  
  
"Have you forgotten the C-4 incident so quickly?" Alec replied. " I mean we did leave a sizeable crater in the parking lot and set off every car alarm in a 10 mile radius."  
  
"So what else is left on the list?"  
  
"Well there is the classic space needle drop, running it over with a train and my personal favourite making Logan eat it."  
  
" We are not going to make Logan eat it."  
  
"Normal?" Max shook her head "Sketchy?" Alec added hopefully.  
  
"The only person who even has a remote chance of eating this thing is you or possibly White."  
  
Alec crossed Logan's name off the list and replaced it with White. Alec glanced at his watch.  
  
"Next train comes in 15 minutes. Let's get moving"  
  
Logan was all ready. Now all he needed to do was plant the audio transmitters on Max and Alec. He grabbed his computer so that he could watch while he drove and headed to his car. He glanced at his watch. He had only been awake for 29 hours and 47 minutes. He was still safe to drive.  
  
The beeper was sitting innocently on the traintracks. Max and Alec had placed it there and were now sitting in front row seats at the top of a billboard. Alec could hear the train coming and rubbed his hands in glee as he anticipated the demise of the despised machine. The train hit the beeper at a breakneck speed turning it into a dangerous projectile. A dangerous projectile that was heading straight for Alec's mid section. Alec flipped backwards off the billboard. The beeper barely skimmed his torso and sliced his shirt cleanly up the middle like a razor blade. Alec landed softy and very deliberately walked over and picked up the beeper.  
  
"You thought you got me that time! Didn't you?" Alec said cockily too the beeper. " But I suspected that you might try something like this so I came prepared." Alec produced a tube of super glue from his jacket pocket. "Hasta la vista baby!"  
  
Alec walked to the track and superglued the beeper into place. "There is no way it's getting away this time." He assured Max.  
  
Logan was positive he was delusional as he watched the train hurtling towards the beeper. He blinked shaking his head. *I really need to get some coffee * He thought to himself and pulled into a doughnut shop. The doughnut shop had a TV mounted high on the wall that was displaying some crappy post pulse sit-com. He ordered a coffee and 6 doughnuts and sat down to read the newspaper. He was only on his second bite of the third doughnut when a special newsbreak pre-empted the sitcom. "A freight train carrying what was reported to be thousands of squirrels has derailed near Seattle minutes ago." A blonde anchorwoman reported into the camera. "It is too soon to tell the extent of the damage but several squirrels have been listed in critical condition and have been rushed to hospital. The cause of the accident is not known. Now back to regular programming."  
  
*Wow * Logan thought * I REALLY need to get some more coffee. This staying awake thing is hard. *  
  
Alec walked calmly through the train rubble. Listening for a sound. Then he heard it. The chirp of the beeper. The beeper was sitting calmly where he had left it. The safety glue had not survived the onslaught of the train but the beeper appeared exactly the same as always. Alec picked it up and put it in his pocket. There was something warm and fuzzy in there. He pulled it out and came face to face with a squirrel. He looked around. There were hundreds of squirrels. "Max!" He cried. Then he saw her covered head to toe in squirrel assassins.  
  
"Do you think they are following us?" Max asked as they sped off on the Ninja.  
  
"Not that I can tell. I think we got them all." Alec replied.  
  
"Good! Because I don't ever think I'll get the smell of squirrel pee out of my…" Max abruptly shut her mouth.  
  
"Off the bike!" Alec yelled. " How could you do that to your baby?"  
  
  
  
A/n Thankyou to everyone who reviewed and gave suggestions for ways to destroy the beeper. You guys are great.  
  
A/n2 How much longer do you want this story to go on? Because it makes a difference in what plot lines I choose to pursue in the story. 


	8. The Hamster Learns

Alec and Max were sitting at a table in Crash when Logan arrived. He spotted them and sat down at their table.  
  
" You were right about Normal having something to do with the familiars." Alec said.  
  
"Huh?…Oh yes! I've had my eye on Normal for awhile." Logan said and made a mental note to check into Normal.  
  
There was an awkward silence at the table. Then Alec broke it. "Logan you look like shit man! What have you been doing?" Max kicked Alec underneath the table. *But he was right* She thought. Logan's clothes were dishevelled and smelly, he had dark circles under his eyes and he had more than his regular bit of stubble. Not only that but he looked dog-tired. Alec and Max on the other hand looked fresh and alert. After the train incident they had driven back to Max's where they had had a quick nap, a shower, and a change of clothes.  
  
The table lapsed into silence again. " So Logan…" Alec started conversationally "What's our next little mission?"  
  
"Ninja hedgehogs. Extremely dangerous." Logan said taking a sip of his beer.  
  
"You're kidding right?" Asked Max in disbelief.  
  
"Yeah. I don't have a mission for you today." Logan replied  
  
Max and Alec sighed in relief.  
  
"Then why are you here?" Alec said after a moment's hesitation.  
  
"To hang out?" Logan said as if he were concerned it might not be the right answer.  
  
" You? Hang out? No ulterior motives or last minute work that needs to be done?" Alec said sceptically.  
  
"No. Why? Should there be?" Logan asked suspiciously.  
  
" No reason." Said Alec brushing the subject aside and staring at the empty glass in front of him.  
  
" I'll go get another pitcher of beer." Said Max getting up.  
  
"So why are you really here Logan?" Alec asked bluntly as soon as Max left.  
  
Logan leaned forward conspiratorially and placed a hand on Alec's shoulder. *The bug was planted. * He thought gleefully.  
  
"I'm here…" He said very slowly so as to make sure Alec understood. "To hang out with Max."  
  
"She doesn't want to hang out with you man! She dumped you." Alec said defensively and shrugged Logan's hand off his shoulder.  
  
" You're just insecure because she loves me and is just using you for sex." Logan spat out viciously.  
  
Logan was totally not acting like himself. He glanced at his watch 34 hours and 17 seconds. That, combined with alcohol was starting to work against him. Logan's vision blurred for a second and Crash seemed impossibly far away.  
  
Max returned to the table. She glared at Alec. She had been able to hear the entire conversation quiet as it was, across the bar. Alec had known she could hear it but Max knew that Logan often underestimated her abilities and probably hadn't.  
  
Logan was silent and looked like he was about to fall asleep. Then he pulled a smooshed doughnut from his pocket and began to nibble on it. He began to lick the sugar off his fingers with loud smacks.  
  
Alec stifled a smirk and glanced at Max. Logan was so far gone it ceased to be funny.  
  
A bit of the jelly from Logan's doughnut missed his mouth and landed on his chin. Logan began laughing hysterically. Bits of half chewed doughnut flew through the air. Alec and Max exchanged glances.  
  
"Logan," she said, " You look exhausted. Why don't you go home and get some rest."  
  
Logan rose reluctantly and stuffed the rest of the doughnut in his mouth. He still needed to plant a bug on Max but he had one on Alec. That was good enough for now. Logan walked back to his car and stuck an earpiece in his ear. Through it he could clearly hear Max and Alec's conversation.  
  
"I need to get out of here…" Alec groaned in frustration. "And do something physical." The atmosphere at Crash was pressing down on them.  
  
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Max said.  
  
Logan watched the two X-5's exit crash and pile onto Max's bike. He knew he couldn't follow them. They would know it in an instant. So he started up the car and headed back to his place. All the while listening to Max and Alec.  
  
Max stopped her bike outside an abandoned warehouse. "Take off your jacket." Max told Alec as they prepared their fighting ring.  
  
"Let's do it." Alec replied referring to the fight. They faced each other in fighting stance and then without warning sprang at each other. They grunted as they made contact. Their combat became rhythmic.  
  
"I'd like to see Logan do this!" Alec said cockily as he did a flying spin. Max punched him in the gut and he let out a moan.  
  
"You know Logan can't do that Alec." Max replied. " He doesn't exactly have your skills."  
  
Logan had returned to his penthouse and really didn't want to hear anymore of what obviously was Alec and Max in a wild fit of passion. Passion in which Max was comparing him to Alec and he was coming up way short. How would she know anyways? All they had ever done was eat pasta together. Max's ragged gasps of pleasure ripped through his earpiece.  
  
They were breathing hard and heavy now as they circled each other. Their fighting jumped to super speed and they were grunting as they matched each other move for move.  
  
Then it was done.  
  
"Wow!" Alec said, " That was great."  
  
"What you're finished?" Max asked jokingly. " I wanted to go one more round with the champ." And with that the fighting started a new.  
  
Logan couldn't bring himself to turn the sound off he sat listening in horror as someone else had sex with his girl. Very good sex obviously, he noted. Logan turned on the TV and flipped to a News report on the train wreck.  
  
"Officials are still uncertain as to what caused the crash. Again, 600 squirrels dead and hundreds more injured in this tragic accident. This is Sandra Guppenheimer reporting. Back to you Rob."  
  
Logan stared at the newscast blankly his eyelids were so heavy. This staying awake thing was really catching up to him. He blinked. His eyelids drooped again. Maybe he could close them for just a second…  
  
  
  
"You know what?" Alec said as he sat propped up on Max's bed. "I think that we've been going about this destroying the beeper business entirely wrong."  
  
They had been there for hours just talking about life and Manticore.  
  
"How so?" Max asked.  
  
" Well we have been going after the beeper."  
  
"Yes." Max said not sure what he was getting at.  
  
"We haven't been getting to the root of the problem." Alec said matter of factly.  
  
"Uh-huh." Max mumbled not knowing if she wanted to hear this.  
  
"Why do we want to kill the beeper? Because it won't shut up. Why won't it shut up? Because someone won't stop paging you. I say we take out the source."  
  
"You are not pulling a hit on Logan Alec so don't even think about it." Max said sternly.  
  
"A hit is a good idea that has its merits but I was thinking something a little less drastic. Like aversion therapy."  
  
"Aversion therapy?"  
  
"I read about a hamster back at Manticore…" Alec started.  
  
"What's with you guys and small furry animals?"  
  
Alec glared at her and continued. "They fed the hamster cheese on the end of a stick whenever it tapped the side of the cage. The hamster soon learned that if it tapped on the side of the cage it would get food. Well the hamster began completely ignoring its other food and got really really fat and had a minor heart attack But that's not the point. After awhile the people conducting the experiment put an electrical current in the side of the cage. So every time the hamster touched the side of the cage it would get a shock. The hamster learned very fast not to touch the side of the cage and went back to eating his regular food."  
  
"You want us to feed Logan cheese?" Max asked not comprehending.  
  
"No. We need to put an electrical current in the cage. Teach Logan to only page you when it's actually necessary. I bet that I could rig the beeper to send an electrical overload each time it is activated. So every time Logan pages you he will get a minor electrical shock."  
  
"Ok." Max said. "Just don't make it too big." She handed her beeper over to Alec.  
  
Alec fiddled for a few minutes and then looked up and smiled.  
  
"Jackpot!" He said. "Now let's find a place to go watch."  
  
  
  
A/n Thankyou to the reviewer who suggested hedgehog ninjas. I loved the idea but it took the story in a completely opposite direction. I couldn't resist putting them in once though.  
  
A/n2 I About the electrical overload thing. I don't know anything about electronics. And it may not actually be possible but it works in my little fantasy world. 


	9. Does Logan?

Logan awoke with his face stuck to the keyboard. He groaned, as he smelled a vile smell. He sat up slowly and realised that the smell was coming from him. Logan rose gingerly to his feet and waddled to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror. His glasses were askew, he had the imprint of his keyboard on the left side of his face and his stubble was becoming a full-fledged beard. Logan however wasn't noticing any of these things. He was noticing the little clock that sat in his bathroom. It read 10:30. 10:30 meant that he had been out for over 8 hours. 8 hours in which Max could have done anything. He sprinted frantically to his computer screen. He could see Max and Alec sitting. He couldn't tell where exactly but they appeared to be outside. They were peering at something far below them. He pushed the earpiece further into his ear. All he got was static. He must have broken something inside of it. He would fix it later. Now he would page Max.  
  
"What is it that he has on his computer screen?" Max asked as she sat with Alec on the roof of the building opposite Logan's apartment.  
  
"I don't know…"Alec replied leaning closer. "It almost looks like us."  
  
When Logan had rushed back to the computer terminal it had piqued their interest.  
  
" Raise your hand Max." Alec said softly. Max raised her hand, as did the person on the computer screen. Max went cold. *Was Logan spying on her? *  
  
"He's dialling." Max got her cell phone ready. Her beeper beeped and she flashed a picture.  
  
Logan felt like he had been hit by a truck. He fizzed and popped softly as the electricity coursed through his body. He dropped the phone and the sensation stopped. *What was happening? * After a moment he picked up the phone and called Max again.  
  
"I don't think this is working." Max whispered to Alec. Logan had paged her 12 times in a row. The electricity while obviously affecting him was not slowing him down.  
  
"How can his body take that kind of torture?" Alec said in awe.  
  
"Maybe he's Manticore or something like it and just doesn't know it." Max suggested  
  
"He's too old to be Manticore Max."  
  
"Logan's not old! He's…mature and caring and…"  
  
"A complete psycho." Alec finished for her. "Max, spying on you and paging you 12 times in 20 minutes is not normal boyfriend behaviour. Even when the phone isn't rigged with an electrical shocking system."  
  
"He's not my boyfriend." Max said defensively.  
  
"Don't even start with that again! He may not be your boyfriend but you are certainly not over him and with someone else. Max you have to choose. You either stay with him completely or let go completely. I'm sick of this hanging in the middle business."  
  
"Why do you care anyway?" Max said bitterly. " You don't know anything about relationships or the real world."  
  
"I care Max because you are my best friend and I want you to be happy." Alec exploded. " You're right I don't know anything about the real world but I do know that love isn't supposed to suffocate you. And that" he said pointing to Logan's window "is killing you inside."  
  
Max was silent for a moment. "I'm your best friend?" She said after a moment.  
  
"Of course you are Max. Why else do you think I stayed in Seattle?" He said softly.  
  
"Don't tell OC but I think you're mine too. You're the only person I know that truly understands me."  
  
"Max I don't understand you at all." Alec answered.  
  
"You understand enough." Max leaned forward slowly, gently placed her lips on top of his. It was the sweetest kiss she had ever experienced. They pulled away after a moment. Alec grinned. "Did OC get this kind of best friend perks?" He leaned in to kiss her again. He paused inches from her mouth. He was staring intently at something behind Max.  
  
"Max I think you'd better turn around."  
  
Logan watched Max kiss Alec. *God* He thought. *They make every kiss look like the very first one. * Logan thought for a moment of letting Max go and moving on with his life. The moment passed and Logan began scheming once again. Then he picked up the phone and dialled.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/n Ok that's the end of this chapter. One that I had to completely drag out of myself and I'm still not to sure of. Sorry it's so short.  
  
A/n2 ok here's the deal I have two different ways that I could go here and I want people to choose.  
  
Option #1  
  
Max turned and found herself faced with an entire army of squirrels. The squirrels began inching forward.  
  
"Alec?" Max asked. " Do you have a plan?"  
  
"Nope." Alec replied. They put their backs to each other and began to circle desperately. The squirrels formed a ring around them and began to press inwards. Max lashed out and the first squirrels went flying. Then Alec did the same. Wave after wave of squirrels assaulted them but Max and Alec held their ground. The carnage around them grew. Still none of the squirrels could gain purchase. It was like Max and Alec were untouchable while they fought together. Then Max bumped into Alec and there was a blinding flash. When they could see again the entire squirrel army was bowing to them.  
  
Then one of the squirrels came forward.  
  
"I am Hekeziah. Leader of the Squeak nation. My people bow to you."  
  
Max and Alec looked at each other in shock.  
  
Option #2  
  
Max turned and found her self nose to nose with a pot belly pig.  
  
"What the hell is a pig doing on the roof of an apartment building in downtown Seattle?" Max pondered out loud. The pig picked up Max's cell phone, which was lying on the ground and swallowed it. Max and Alec watched in shock as the pig wandered off.  
  
"That pig stole my phone!" Max gasped. 


	10. Goldilogan

A/N By popular demand option one wins out! I will probably put the pig eating the cell phone in a later chapter. Right now this story has sort of lost its sense of direction for me so I may end it soon and start another one. For my fans who keep asking me to update my other fic Ring Dong I don't have enough time to work on two fics at once. I have rewritten the first chapter and I will post that when I am done beeper wars.  
  
  
  
  
  
Max turned and found herself faced with an entire army of squirrels. The squirrels began inching forward.  
  
"Alec?" Max asked. " Do you have a plan?"  
  
"Nope." Alec replied. They put their backs to each other and began to circle desperately. The squirrels formed a ring around them and began to press inwards. Max lashed out and the first squirrels went flying. Then Alec did the same. Wave after wave of squirrels assaulted them but Max and Alec held their ground. The carnage around them grew. Still none of the squirrels could gain purchase. It was like Max and Alec were untouchable while they fought together. Then Max bumped into Alec and there was a blinding flash. When they could see again the entire squirrel army was bowing to them.  
  
Then one of the squirrels came forward.  
  
"I am Hekeziah. Leader of the Squeak nation. My people bow to you."  
  
Max and Alec looked at each other in shock.  
  
"Only the gods could fight as you have done." Hekeziah said reverently.  
  
"Look." Alec said matter of factly. " I may look like a god and now that you mention it I have had comments…"  
  
"We were made in a lab to fight like that. We are NOT gods." Max cut him off.  
  
A wave of chittery laughter rolled through the squirrel army.  
  
"The gods test our loyalty." Hekeziah smiled. "We are not fooled. We live only to serve you."  
  
"Wait a second. Aren't you supposed to be working for the mayor of Seattle?" Alec asked.  
  
"That was before the gods arrived. Besides the mayor was a man of limited imagination we would have had to eliminate him soon."  
  
"How many times do we have to tell you that we aren't gods!" Max said.  
  
"Do not worry master the Squeaks are loyal to the grave. I have already sent scouts out to find out how secure our position is."  
  
"Thank you Hekeziah." Alec said hesitantly.  
  
"The SQ must get out of sight as soon as possible sir. You will recieve regular updates and there will be squirrels guarding you at all times." With that the army vanished from view.  
  
  
  
*Something must be really wrong with the wiring in the camera…or in my head. * Logan thought as he watched Alec and Max conversing with a squirrel. He stroked his beard and watched some squirrels frolicking on the power line outside his window. He glanced back to the computer screen. Max and Alec were alone and conversing freely. He rubbed his eyes and polished his glasses. The powerline lay empty and gently swooshing in the breeze. Logan looked back at the computer screen. No squirrels. Logan shook his head and seriously considered visiting a shrink. Then Alec leaned down to whisper something in Max's ear and Logan filled with rage. He jumped in his car and headed for Joshua's house.  
  
The door was unlocked and Logan entered without knocking. He figured that the transgenics did it enough to him. Maybe he should raid the fridge too. He padded to the refrigerator and opened it up. There was some left over mac and cheese, half a tuna fish sandwich and a perfect piece of apple pie. Logan grabbed the macaroni but it was a bit too crunchy. He put it back half eaten. He pulled out the tuna fish sandwich and took a bite. He had to act fast to hold down his gag reflex. The sandwich had more Mayo than tuna. He threw it back into the fridge. Then he pulled out the apple pie. He tasted it tentatively. *Perfect* he thought and ate the whole thing.  
  
Logan sat down at the kitchen table and waited fingers drumming impatiently on the cracking linoleum. After a while he put his feet up and reclined backwards. Logan plummeted backwards and crashed into the floor.  
  
He decided that maybe he had better move into the living room. Logan sat down on the couch but the cushions were awkward and he couldn't seem to make them comfortable. Then he saw Alec's chair. It looked so comfortable with squishy cushions and a perfect TV angle. Logan ran and jumped into it. To his horror the cushion of the seat cracked and fell to the floor. When the dust cleared Alec's chair lay in ruins.  
  
Logan didn't feel bad though. After all Alec had stole his girl and broken many expensive art pieces.  
  
Maybe he should catch up on his sleep Logan thought. He wasn't spying at the moment anyways. Logan made his way to the bedroom where Max slept when she stayed over. He was about to get into her bed when a thought occurred to him. If there was any of Max's liberated cellular material in her bed there was a possibilty that he could get infected.  
  
He walked to Joshua's door but immediately ruled that out, as he was highly allergic to dogs. Actually he was already beginning to get a bit stuffy. That left only one option.  
  
Logan stared at Alec's huge bed. Then he crawled under the feather duvet and warm as a button he fell fast asleep.  
  
  
  
"Being a god is tough work." Alec said. "In fact I think that I am going to eat my apple pie, sit in front of the TV for several hours of debilitating entertainment and then I think I'll have a nap."  
  
"Oh you poor baby." Max said sarcastically.  
  
They could smell something was wrong the second they entered Joshua's. The regular smell of turpentine was overpowered by the smell of someone who had not showered in many days. They entered the kitchen to find Joshua staring in the fridge.  
  
"Hey Josh what's the matter?" Max asked.  
  
"Joshua come upstairs after painting and somebody's been eating my Mac and Cheese."  
  
"Hey! Someone's been eating my tuna sandwich." Max said.  
  
"NO!!!!!!" Alec said rushing to the refrigerator. "Please no." He said as he looked vainly in the fridge for his pie. Then he saw the crumbly plate. "Someone." He said very quietly. " Has been eating my pie and they ate it all up."  
  
Joshua noticed the capsized chair.  
  
"Someone's been sitting in my chair." Joshua said confused.  
  
"This is a VERY sick joke! I'm going to watch TV and calm down." Alec said seething.  
  
"I get the flipper." Max said as she raced into the living room and flopped down on the couch. The smell was stronger here.  
  
"Hey someone's been sitting on my couch and they screwed all the cushions up." Max said starting to get pissed off.  
  
"Well at least they didn't eat your pie." Alec said bitterly. Then he turned to look at his chair. He let out a shriek.  
  
"Ok! Who the hell broke my chair?"  
  
"Alec it's not that bad…"  
  
"Not that bad!!? Logan's immune to electrical shocks, I'm a squirrel god, the house smells like shit, someone ate my pie and my favourite chair is broken. You're right Max it's not that bad it's a nightmare. In fact maybe if I go to bed I can wake up."  
  
Max and Joshua looked at each other and both ran to their rooms to see if someone was sleeping in their beds. They both heaved a sigh of relief as they discovered empty, undisturbed beds. Then they heard it.  
  
"What the HELL do you think you are doing in my bed?" 


	11. Little Bear's Revenge

Max and Joshua rushed into to Alec's room. They found Alec holding Logan by the neck high above his head. Logan's feet were kicking frantically but to no avail.  
  
"Alec put Logan down." Max said sounding like a stern mother.  
  
"He was sleeping in my bed." Alec said.  
  
"Put Logan down." Max repeated  
  
"He broke my favourite chair." Alec continued.  
  
"Alec…" Max said in a dangerous tone.  
  
" He ate my pie AND he…" Alec growled giving Logan a shake "Is responsible for giving you the beeper."  
  
Max hesitated for a second not sure if she really wanted Alec to put Logan down. It was true that he had given her the beeper and she had a suspicion that he had been spying on her. Besides Alec's muscles looked really delicious flexed like…  
  
"Alec I'm warning you." She said breaking off the thought.  
  
"Who the hell does he think he is Goldilocks?" Alec ranted obviously not taking Max's threat seriously. Logan stiffened in surprise that Alec would be familiar with a fairy tale.  
  
"What you think Manticore didn't tell us bedtime stories? Alec asked. Logan attempted to shake his head. "Well they didn't but we did have to learn the socio-political connotations of fairy tales so that we might better fit in on our missions."  
  
Logan's face was beginning to turn purple from lack of oxygen. At least Max was pretty sure it was but it was hard to tell under Logan's scruffy facial hair.  
  
She was going to charge at him. To free Logan of course, not to touch Alec's rippling muscles. She would have to be careful not to come in contact with Logan though and the way he was flailing that wasn't going to be easy. Max took a deep breath and prepared for the worst.  
  
"Master." Said a high pitched squeak from behind them. Everyone in the room turned to stare at the squirrel. "Salaziah reporting." The squirrel made a deep bow. Joshua growled and leapt at the squirrel. At the same instant Max and Alec realised that dogs love to chase squirrels.  
  
"Joshua no!" Max yelled. In the same instant Logan hit the ground with a thump and lay huddled in a hump while Alec tackled Joshua from behind. Joshua continued on as if Alec was a 5-year-old who had jumped up for a piggyback. Max dove for Joshua's legs And the three transgenics went tumbling to the floor.  
  
"Joshua, Salaziah is a friend. You don't eat him. Understand?" Alec said sternly.  
  
"Friend." Joshua said with a grin and peered down at Salaziah curiously.  
  
"Sir. May I report now?" Salaziah said timidly.  
  
"Yes." Alec said.  
  
"We have discovered a series of devices located about your personal items that allow other people to gather information on you."  
  
"What people?" "What items?" Max and Alec ask simultaneously.  
  
"A man who's alias is Normal has several still picture cameras located in your apartment, on the handle bars of your bike and in the light fixture above your bed. He seems only interested in Alec and none of his cameras concern Max. I may call you by your names may I not?"  
  
Max and Alec nodded.  
  
Salaziah continued " A man by the name of Ames White has been aquiring hoverdone and security footage of both of you. We are however unable to detect any devices of his own. A Donald Lydecker has discreetly a placed camera above the door in Max's apartment. He monitors who comes and goes but otherwise is unobtrusive."  
  
"I wondered what happened to Deck." Max said fondly.  
  
"I'd rather not know." Alec said.  
  
"The biggest and most active system was placed by a man named Logan Cale…"  
  
Logan's head snapped up and Max and Alec turned to look at him.  
  
"He has placed an audio bug on Alec and is constantly watching video footage provided by a camera in Max's beeper. He has a live feed on the security cameras in Jam Pony as well as those on the hoverdrones. His computer contains your complete files as well as the name and location of a group of people all labelled 09 escapees."  
  
" You what?" Max screamed at Logan. "You've been spying on me AND you know where my brothers and sisters are and you never told me?"  
  
"And you ate my pie you Bastard!" Alec added.  
  
"Alec we can get another pie when we're done." Max said.  
  
"With whipped cream?" Alec asked.  
  
"Yes Alec whipped cream. Now can you please stop thinking about your stomach for one second?"  
  
"I wasn't thinking about my stomach Max." Alec said with his trademark smirk.  
  
"You're such an asshole." Max said trying to appear frigid but ending up smiling.  
  
" Yes. But a smart one. I knew all along something was off about that beeper."  
  
"You just wanted to kill it for fun." She turned back to Logan. "Why were you spying on me anyways?"  
  
"I..I…" Logan stuttered.  
  
"Choke it up." Max said pulling the beeper from her jacket pocket. "Or we'll make you choke this down."  
  
Alec jumped in glee. "Please Max pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase!!!!!!!!" He begged.  
  
Logan glared at him. " I was spying on you Max because I love you so much and I wanted to be with you so much. I wanted to feel like I was a part of your life. I admit I went a bit overboard but that was only because I was insanely jealous of your relationship with Alec. Every time I saw him touch you it broke my heart into a thousand pieces but I couldn't look away. I know you don't love him. You are just using him to keep the pain away. I love you Max and I want to be with you. I have ordered full body latex suits for us to wear when we're together and we'll be able to touch just like old times."  
  
Max's stance softened and a dreamy look came over her face. Logan wasn't a creep at all. This totally explained everything. He was doing it because he loved her. She had been foolish to try and let him go.  
  
" You are so fake Logan." Alec was saying. " You actually think that Max is going to buy that?"  
  
Logan just smiled.  
  
"Let's go Logan." Max said.  
  
"What you can't be serious?" Alec sputtered.  
  
"I'm sorry Alec." Max said softly and with that she and Logan left Joshua's house.  
  
Alec picked up the beeper and threw it as hard as he could against the wall in frustration. It stuck in the plaster.  
  
He didn't care Alec kept telling himself. Why should he care what Max did? Alec found a bottle of vodka and took a swig straight out of it. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His best friend had ditched him to have full body condom sex with the most boring guy in Seattle. Salaziah appeared from the shadows and sat beside him on his bed.  
  
Alec passed the bottle and the squirrel took a sip. " You alright?" Salaziah asked.  
  
"Nope." He said taking another swig. " I miss my pie."  
  
"Is the pie the only thing you miss?" Salaziah asked philosophically.  
  
"I can't believe I'm talking to a squirrel." Alec said to himself.  
  
Max donned the clear latex bodysuit. It covered her completely from head to toe not an inch of skin was showing anywhere on her body. Logan was wearing a similar outfit.  
  
"What would you like to do?" Logan asked as he joined her in the living room.  
  
"How about some pasta?" Max suggested.  
  
"Well actually that's one of the draw backs to these suits. You can't eat with them on. Would you like to dance?" he asked and suddenly the lights dimmed and music came on. *How romantic* Max thought *And cheesy* came Alec's voice in her head unbidden. Max and Logan danced smoothly across the floor. Max caught herself looking up at the spot where she and Alec had spent time that morning.  
  
Logan dipped her to the music and leaned over to kiss her. Unfortunately the suits didn't block out odours and Logan still hadn't showered.  
  
"How 'bout we do something else now." Max suggested pulling away.  
  
"Oh I know let's play Parcheesi!" Logan suggested and ran off to get the game."  
  
Max turned and looked at the computer screen. She could clearly see Alec sitting on his bed. Max paused. It looked like Alec was bawling his eyes out on Salaziah's shoulder.  
  
"You know Max if you don't want to play Parcheesi there are other things we can do in these suits." Logan said suggestively putting his hand on Max's hip. She shuddered involuntarily. She couldn't do this.  
  
" I'm sorry Logan." she said and ran out of the apartment still wearing her body suit.  
  
A/n Ok I know this chapter was weird and not very funny but…it goes with the plot. 


	12. Blueberry Pie

Salaziah was sitting quite contentedly on Alec's shoulder when the knock came. Hekeziah stuck his head around the door and grinned. Well at least he grinned as much as a squirrel can grin. Alec looked at him suspiciously.  
  
"What's going on Hekeziah?" He asked. Hekeziah grinned even wider and pushed the door open.  
  
5 squirrels sat in a perfect row. Each with a pie strapped to its back. Behind them were two squirrels each with a can of whipped cream. And behind all the others was the biggest squirrel Alec had ever seen. It was the size of a large cat and was carrying a gallon of vanilla ice cream over his head.  
  
"That's Sumoziah." Salaziah whispered in Alec's ear. "He is your personal body guard."  
  
Alec nodded in shock.  
  
"So are you hungry?" Hekeziah said rubbing his claws together.  
  
"No that's fine." Alec said " But you guys can have as much as you want."  
  
After all of his bitching about the pie Alec found he wasn't hungry. There was a lump in his throat that made it hard to swallow.  
  
"The god is displeased with our offering?" Hekeziah asked.  
  
"No no no no no." Alec said, "The offering is fabulous. I'm very pleased. I'm just not very hungry. Feel free to take whatever you like."  
  
"Squirrels don't eat pie." Hekeziah said. "I'll leave them on the counter for when you want them." And with that everyone left and Alec was left alone with Sumo.  
  
  
  
Sumo padded heavily into the other room and jumped none to gracefully up onto the counter. Once there he proceeded to eat the pies one by one. By the time Alec immerged from his room Sumo was starting the last pie.  
  
"Bad squirrel." Alec said shaking his finger at Sumo and rescuing the remainder of the final pie. Sumo glared at him.  
  
"Whoa!" Alec said putting his hands up. "Nice squirrelly. Hey I thought you guys didn't eat pie."  
  
"Hekeziah doesn't eat pie." Sumo grunted. "He's on a low carb, low fat diet."  
  
"A squirrel on a diet?" Alec asked incredulously while he cut a piece of the pie and stuck it in the fridge. He left the rest for Sumo who was soon too busy eating to answer his question.  
  
Alec went back to his bedroom to sulk and Sumo followed with a deck of cards.  
  
  
  
Max sprinted into Joshua's house only to be met by a ball of flying fur and claws that tore into her.  
  
"Sumo!" Alec's voice came from the bedroom. A huge squirrel materialised out of the ball of fur. It watched her closely while she walked nervously to Alec's bedroom.  
  
"What do you want Max?" Alec said wearily not even raising his eyes to her. Sumo jumped on the bed and he and Alec appeared to pick up a momentarily interrupted card game.  
  
"I'm sorry." Max said.  
  
"For what? Abandoning me for Logan? Having crazy mood swings? For making me believe that you might actually care about me?" Alec said bitterly as he picked up some cards.  
  
"I do care about you Alec. I realise that now. I just thought that I wanted to be romanced."  
  
"And what you've decided you prefer Alec's caveman knock a girl over the head and drag her back to my cave tactic better?" Alec looked up with fierce eyes and froze. "What the hell are you wearing?"  
  
"Um this is a latex body suit." Max said not exactly sure how to present it.  
  
"No offence Max but you look like a condom." He laughed. "I can't believe Logan actually believed that you would wear that for any extended period of time. I don't think that I'd want to be romanced in one of those either."  
  
"It wasn't the bodysuit that made me leave." Max said.  
  
"He hasn't had a shower yet has he?"  
  
"No…but it's not that either. I don't know it just felt…Wrong" Max said searching for the word.  
  
"Well I can see how a smelly man in a body condom could be seen as wrong."  
  
"I know I hurt you Alec."  
  
"Yeah Max, you did." Alec said quietly  
  
"Do you forgive me?" Max asked hopefully.  
  
" I don't know Max…,"He said sadly.  
  
"Can you at least help me get this stupid suit off?"  
  
Alec got up and pulled at the suit. It didn't budge. He tried again. This time the latex snapped back into place like an elastic and Max yelped.  
  
"I'm stuck!" She groaned.  
  
"No you're not." Alec said getting up on the bed and dangling Max by the fingertips of the suit as he attempted to get it off. "Ok Maybe you are." He conceded.  
  
Sumo got up and stretched. He walked over to Max leisurely and ran a sharp claw down the center of the suit. It split open like a piece of ripe fruit and Max stepped out of it.  
  
Symbolically in her mind she was shedding the skin in which she had been with Logan.  
  
She looked at Alec and for the first time got butterflies in her stomach. They had been hanging out for the last hour and things seemed to have returned to normal.  
  
"Guess what I've got." Alec said teasingly.  
  
"What?" Max said tingling.  
  
"A perfect piece of pie." He said.  
  
"Really?" Max purred.  
  
"Really. And I'm going to eat it all by myself."  
  
"What kind?" Max asked.  
  
"Blueberry."  
  
"You wouldn't."  
  
"Watch me." Alec got up and padded to the fridge. He pulled out the pie and a can of whipped cream, which he piled, in mountains on top of the pie. Then he grabbed a single fork and headed back to his bedroom.  
  
"Sumo, wait outside this could get ugly." He told his bodyguard.  
  
  
  
Alec sat down on his bed and dove the fork into the pie. Max followed trying to grab the plate. She got some whipped cream on her finger and sucked on it. Alec brought the fork to his mouth.  
  
"This is so good!" He said pointing at the pie.  
  
Max jumped on his back and reached for it. He held it just out of her reach, taunting her, teasing her. Her cheek was right next to his and her arms were rapped tightly around his neck.  
  
"Please?" She whispered in his ear.  
  
"Just a little bite." He said and turned around to face her. He dug the fork into the pie and brought it slowly to her mouth. He watched as her full lips closed on the fork.  
  
"Mmm! This is so good." She mumbled. Alec took another bite. She leaned closer hoping for some more. Alec gave her another bite. Then he took another. He let her have the last bite. His hand was shaking as he raised the fork and missed its target slightly getting whipping cream on her nose.  
  
"You've got something on your nose." He told her. She stuck her fingers in the leftover whipped cream and smirked as she ran them down his face.  
  
"So do you." She whispered.  
  
Alec leaned down very slowly and licked the whip cream off the tip of her nose. The whipping cream on his chin rubbed off in the place between Max's nose and mouth. Alec kissed her softly there. Then he slid down and lightly traced the outline of her mouth with his tongue. It was the most amazing feeling Max had ever had. She longed for him to capture her mouth in his. He continued to tease her and Max's cream coated finger's curled through his hair and pulled him into a deep kiss.  
  
His hands found her cheeks and caressed her soft skin.  
  
  
  
Max pulled away and looked deep into Alec's eyes. She didn't know exactly what to say. She knew that that was the most amazing kiss she had ever experienced but she didn't know how to tell him. Alec seemed to understand. His hands found hers and sticky fingers intertwined as he lay his forehead against hers.  
  
"I forgive you Max." He said almost in a whisper. A tear rolled down Max's cheek. Alec kissed it away and hugged her close. Content to just hold her in his arms.  
  
A/n I hope you liked that chapter. That whole pie scene was a reenactment of my very first kiss so be nice to it. I don't know if I did it justice. 


	13. Surgery

Logan stared blankly at the computer monitor. Max was involved in a full- fledged make-out session with Alec. So Max had chosen Alec over him. Logan picked absently at his latex body suit. *Alec! * He thought to himself * Why Alec? What's he got that I don't? Sure Alec's genetically enhanced but he's a royal pain. He's cocky, rude, and entirely too in love with himself. Not to mention he never does volunteer work. Compared to him I'm practically perfect* Logan thought and began going through his list of attributes. *I'm humble, brilliant, and I save the world an average of 2.4 times a week. I'm heroic, moral, unassuming, unobtrusive, courteous, respectful, intelligent, profound, ingenious, glorious, splendid, eminent, stalwart, chivalrous, upright, righteous, worthy, virtuous and despite all of this extremely modest. * Logan's mind spent several more minutes coming up with adjectives that portrayed his exemplary nature. *…Sensitive, receptive, and dashingly handsome. Then it hit him like a beeper from the top of the space needle. Alec was good looking too. Possibly in Max's eyes even more good looking. That was the only reason she could possibly have to choose Alec over him. A reason that could be easily eliminated.  
  
20 minutes later still wearing his latex suit Logan walked into the plastic surgery clinic.  
  
He pulled out a picture of Alec and handed it to the receptionist.  
  
"I want to look like this." He told her.  
  
The secretary glanced at Logan and then down at the picture. " I bet you do sugar. I bet you do."  
  
  
  
Logan was sitting in the Plastic surgeons office waiting for his consultation to begin. The doctor entered and sat down behind an expensive oak desk. He looked Logan up and down sceptically. Then he extended his hand. "Dr. Smith." He said.  
  
"Cogan Lale" Logan answered. The doctor raised an eyebrow slightly at the strange name.  
  
"Now Mr. Lale. You do realise that plastic surgery is VERY expensive. How were you planning on paying for this?"  
  
"I'm not poor." Logan said pulling out a wad of cash.  
  
"I can see that sir." He said glancing at the sweaty roll of money.  
  
"I want to look like him as soon as possible." Logan said pulling out a handful of pictures of Alec.  
  
The plastic surgeon glanced through the pictures and whistled through his teeth.  
  
"I'm sorry Mr. Lale but you could never look like this. This man has the most perfect bone structure and form of any specimen I have seen. Do you see how the cheekbone curves there? Flawless. You can't recreate a face like that."  
  
" I said that I wanted to look like him as soon as possible." Logan hissed and pulled more cash out from his pocket."  
  
"Very well sir. May I suggest however that you shower first? It would be a dreadful infection."  
  
"I'll be back in two hours." Logan said and sprinted out of the office leaving a stunned doctor Smith to prepare for this unexpected surgery.  
  
  
  
Alec was asleep with his arms wrapped tightly about Max when he heard the footsteps. Alec cautiously opened one eye to discover Normal staring down at him.  
  
"Ugh! What are you doing in my house." He groaned.  
  
"Shhhhhhhh! I need to talk to you." Normal whispered harshly.  
  
"Couldn't this have waited until work tomorrow?"  
  
"No. Now come with me."  
  
Alec begrudgingly released Max and lay her sleeping form gently on the bed. He followed Normal out into the living room.  
  
"Normal what is this?" Alec asked annoyed.  
  
"I know what you are Alec." Normal said quietly.  
  
"And what exactly am I?" Alec asked testily. He tensed his muscles. He didn't want to hurt Normal but he was prepared to attack if it was necessary. He caught sight of Sumo sitting on a chair behind Normal. The squirrels fur was raised and he seemed to have multiplied in size.  
  
"You're Manticore. X-5 494. The best of your generation.  
  
"So what? Yes I'm Manticore. How do you like it Normal? Your golden boy is a transgenic freak! What are you going to do shoot your hero?" Alec spat angrily.  
  
" You have it all wrong." Normal said. "I've always known exactly what you were. Alec you need to find the transgenic by the number of 452."  
  
Alec looked at him in shock.  
  
"What?" He asked  
  
" You have a barcode and let's just say that at one point I was very familiar with a certain base in Wyoming. Now Alec listen to me it's very important…"  
  
"What do you want with 452."  
  
"I've been looking for her for a very long time. Alec, you were designed to be the best Manticore ever produced. But you were made to be a pair. Without your match you are just a regular X-5.  
  
" If you're talking about 493. He's dead."  
  
"I'm not talking about 493 I'm talking about 452. You have to find her Alec."  
  
"Find her and what?" Alec said  
  
"You have to figure that out for yourself. In the mean time stay away from Max Alec. She's not like you and if you fall in love with her you may never complete your match with 452."  
  
" Who the hell are you to tell me who I can and can't fall in love with? It seems a lot of people want to find 452. How do I know that you're not out to hurt her like all the rest?"  
  
"You know 452?" Normal asked stunned. "Is she here in Seattle? When did you last see her? Is she…" Normal was cut off by Joshua's voice.  
  
"Father." The word echoed through the house.  
  
  
  
Logan lay down on the operating table. He had shaved and had removed his latex body suit in favour of a blue backless hospital gown. Dr. Smith entered dressed in his scrubs and latex gloves.  
  
"Unfortunately, Mr Lale." Dr. Smith said with a slight smirk. "Anaesthesia is hard to come by in post pulse Seattle and due to the short notice. I did not have time to acquire any. I can give you something for the pain but you will be awake during the operation and will be able to see everything."  
  
Logan nodded and insisted that the doctor start as soon as possible.  
  
  
  
"Now Mr Lale we are going to start with your nose. We need to get rid of some of the cartilage in there and reshape it to give you the desired nose."  
  
Dr Smith selected a large chisel from his set of tools and shoved it up Logan's nose. Logan's eyes went wide and he felt nauseous.  
  
  
  
Seven hours later Logan immerged in a swathe of white bandages. He had been cut and scraped as well as reshaped and stretched. Not to mention the fact that he was in a considerable amount of pain. He had to keep the bandages on for another three days. Then Max would see and she would love him again. The squirrels chittered in the tree outside as they ran around on their secret missions.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/n I know that Normal can't be Sandeman cause he's not old enough to be White's father but I had this idea before I knew that. 


	14. Dye Dye Dye

A/n I Updated!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't it amazing? I've been trying to for days but I had writers block, food poisoning, then I went away and then I was grounded and not allowed on the computer and so I wrote out the next couple of chapters by hand. You get the point.  
  
Anyways I tell you the DA writers are reading my fanfic. Did anyone else notice in the season finale that Max ditched her pager for a cell phone? (Which happened to look suspiciously like White's cell phone) And hello? Latex gloves. People we are only a step away from full latex body condoms and squirrel assassins. Right, right you want to read the fic. I'll shut up now.  
  
  
  
"Father..." The word echoed through the house. Alec froze. *Normal was Sandeman? This was weird* Normal turned to Joshua.  
  
"Joshua is that really you?"  
  
Joshua nodded.  
  
"Come here big fellow." He said and embraced him. Then he pulled back and turned to Alec.  
  
" You let Max in the same house as Joshua? What if she found out? What if she discovered what you truly are? What if…"  
  
"What the hell is going on?" Max asked from the doorway.  
  
"Um Max we have a bit of a situation here." Alec said not sure how to approach this.  
  
"I can see that. What the hell is that doing in your house." She said pointing to Normal.  
  
Normal thought that she was pointing at Joshua and decided to take action.  
  
"Now look here missy miss." He said. "This is all just a bad dream. It is just a concoction of your imagination brought on by the bitterness you feel over being the latest in Alec's long string of one night stands."  
  
"Little Fella getting busy with Alec?" Joshua asked confused.  
  
"Not yet Joshua." Max replied without thinking. Then she realised what she had said and glanced quickly over at Alec who was grinning. Max blushed and glanced down at the floor.  
  
"Hold your horses!" Normal said trying to figure out what was going on. " You know Joshua?"  
  
"Of course I know Joshua." Max said as though it should be obvious to everyone that she did.  
  
"But…" Joshua said only to be cut off.  
  
"You let Max meet Joshua? You idiot." Normal yelled at Alec. Normal turned his attention back to Max. "It doesn't bother you that he's a horribly misshapen freak?"  
  
"But…" Joshua interjected again.  
  
"The only horribly misshapen freak that I see is you. I think you should leave now." Max said angrily.  
  
"But father said that Max and Alec getting busy." Joshua got out in the silence that followed.  
  
Max's head snapped around.  
  
"When did he say that Joshua?" She whispered. Max glanced up at Normal and then over at Alec who nodded. Max gasped. Normal was in a state of intense confusion and stared blankly at the events taking place around him.  
  
"Alec?" He said helplessly. Alec stepped forward.  
  
"Sandeman, I'd like you to meet 452."  
  
Normal collapsed into a chair.  
  
"She's been right in front of me the entire time." He whispered in shock. Normal seemed to slip into deep thought and silence hovered in the little room.  
  
Sumo entered and sprang up onto Alec's shoulder like a cat and whispered the latest news in his ear. Sumo jumped down and Alec pulled Max aside.  
  
"Apparently Logan has been injured. He spent many hours in a doctors office and is now completely covered in bandages." He told her.  
  
"Let's go check it out." She said. "Normal stay here with Joshua."  
  
They zoomed into the night on Max's bike. Max drove and Alec sat behind her arms wrapped tightly around her middle. Sumo sitting on the back of the motorcycle held on to Alec for dear life and prayed for the ride to end.  
  
"You know I'm feeling ripped off on this whole squirrel royalty thing." Max yelled back to Alec when she noticed Sumo.  
  
"How so?" He asked her leaning closer so he could talk in her ear. His body was flush against her back and she felt safe and secure.  
  
"Where is my massive squirrel body guard?" She asked. She could feel him smirking.  
  
"Why do you need a body guard you have me?" He said  
  
"And my pie?"  
  
"As I recall my massive squirrel body guard ate most of my pie and you got most of the rest."  
  
"I didn't see you complaining about it." Max smiled.  
  
"And I wouldn't complain if you ate my pie again as long as the result was the same." Alec nipped at her ear gently. Suddenly Max realised where they were and stopped the bike.  
  
"We're here." She announced.  
  
Alec still had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.  
  
"You're not getting off this bike until you you've paid the toll." He told her teasingly.  
  
"Oh and what might that be?" She asked.  
  
"A kiss."  
  
She struggled to get off but Alec held her tight.  
  
"Alright." She sighed.  
  
Max turned her head and pressed her lips softly against Alec's. She had only meant for it to be a peck but she found herself running her fingers through his hair and pulling him close. She wanted to lose herself in his taste.  
  
Sumo made a disapproving cough and Max and Alec jumped back like chastised teenagers. Then Max and Alec looked at Sumo and burst out laughing. His hair had been blown flat along his top and sides but was sticking wildly out at odd angles at the back making him appear more like a porcupine than an overgrown squirrel. Sumo glared grumpily and began to climb Foggle towers so he could guard them from the window.  
  
  
  
Logan was sitting in his apartment staring in the mirror. He was admiring his hair. He had just got back from the hair salon where he had had his hair cut and styled the exact same way that Alec kept his. He had been thrilled. Now that he was looking in the mirror the pit of his stomach fell. His hair was a decidedly different colour than that of Alec's. But that wasn't the dilemma. He couldn't decide exactly what colour Alec's hair was. He personally had always thought that it was brown. But as he studied the dye catalogue he discovered that there was no such colour as brown. He flipped through the pictures. Sunkissed looked close. He turned the page and grinned. *I have it! Hazelnut. * He studied the photograph. * Looks pretty good* he thought and began to flip to the shipping information page. He froze staring at the picture open in front of him. *Maybe Alec's hair was really nutshell. * He flipped to the next page. * No. It was acorn. He was positive. * He flipped the page again. *Maybe not exactly positive because ruddy straw looked pretty damn close. * Logan rested his head in his hands and massaged his throbbing temples. * There was only one way he could resolve this. * He finally decided. * He needed a sample. * Logan grabbed a pair of scissors from his drawer and grabbed his coat. The sound of an approaching motorcycle caused him to glance out the window. He saw Max and Alec kissing on her bike and he made a caveman growl deep in his throat. *He was going to get her back. But first he had to get rid of the evidence. * He picked up the dye catalogues and pictures of Alec and shoved them in a box, which he kicked behind his computer. The scissors felt warm in his hand. He would find the exact pigmentation of Alec's hair and duplicate it. Once that was finished he could move on to more important matters like the exact shade of Alec's eyes.  
  
He was staring off into space when Max opened the door of his apartment.  
  
"Logan?" She called. "Are you ok?"  
  
Logan swivelled in his chair.  
  
"I'm fine Max. I just have a couple of 3rd degree burns. Nothing serious."  
  
Alec tried to hide his amusement at what was possibly the worst lie he had ever heard.  
  
Max seemed to buy it though and her face softened with concern.  
  
"What happened?" She asked.  
  
"I very heroically saved 7 orphans and a kitten from a burning building. I tried so hard to save the goldfish but…" Logan's voice cracked with emotion. "It didn't make it."  
  
"I'm so sorry Logan." Max said comfortingly. "I know hard it is when you can't get everyone out."  
  
Logan nodded.  
  
It was all too much for Alec.  
  
"Give me a break!" He said. " I bet he just went and had a nose job and a face lift. I hear old rich people get those sometimes."  
  
Max glared at him.  
  
"Alec. Logan did a very brave thing. The least you could do is be nice to him."  
  
Alec glanced guiltily away but not before Logan got a good look at them. *Definitely green. * He thought. Alec's eyes wandered to the window where he discovered Sumo pressed flat against the glass staring in at them. Max saw it too and exchanged a glance with Alec.  
  
*Great! * Logan thought. * Now they are making puppy dog eyes at each other. As soon as I get this sample. I'm kicking Alec out and having a romantic evening with Max and wine and candlelig…* He gripped the scissors tightly in his hand.  
  
"Is there anything we can do for you?" Max asked.  
  
"Actually there is." Logan replied. "I have it on good authority that I may recover faster if I can isolate a specific transgenic regeneration property."  
  
Alec and Max stared at him blankly.  
  
"I need a piece of Alec's DNA. Preferably some of his hair." Logan simplified holding up the scissors.  
  
"You want me to mess up my doo?" Alec asked incredulously. "For that sorry excuse for a lie no way. You wanted the surgery you suffer the pain buddy."  
  
"Alec." Max said disapprovingly.  
  
"Can't I just pee in a cup or something?" He asked.  
  
"Hair is best." Logan said.  
  
Alec pouted miserably until Max leaned in and whispered in his ear.  
  
"I'll make it up to you later."  
  
Alec grabbed the scissors and chopped out a chunk. Grinning he handed it to Logan and grabbing Max by the waist pulled her out of the apartment.  
  
Once they were gone Logan quickly analysed the hair and decided that without a doubt it was Walnut. He picked up the phone and ordered the dye. 


	15. Oreo's

Logan ran for the door like a kid on Christmas morning. *His package was here! It was here! * He opened the door and froze.  
  
"Jam Pony messenger." Alec said leaning against the doorjamb.  
  
"Hi Alec." Logan said stiffly and grabbed the package out of Alec's hand.  
  
Alec smirked and held out a clipboard.  
  
"Signature." Logan grabbed the pen and scribbled his name. He was preparing to slam the door in Alec's face when Alec stepped into his apartment and went straight to his refrigerator.  
  
"Hey Logan do you have any pie?" He asked. Logan glared at him. "Just joking man. So what did I bring you?" He said rummaging through Logan's cupboards. He found a box of doughnuts and began munching on them. He went to the fridge and pulled out some milk. He chugged it straight from the bottle and popped another doughnut in his mouth. He could hear Logan grinding his teeth in frustration. "Alec what are you doing?" Logan said harshly.  
  
"Eating." Alec replied "You know these doughnuts are a bit stale?" He said tossing them in the garbage. " Do you have any Oreo's?"  
  
"Alec!" Logan said frustrated  
  
"It's ok I found them." Alec said and pulled a full bag out of the cupboard.  
  
Alec smiled inwardly to himself. * The plan was working perfectly. All he had to do was keep Logan occupied for the next ten minutes while Sumo and Salaziah copied Logan's computer files and scrounged the apartment for whatever information they could turn up. *  
  
  
  
Logan watched as Alec twisted an Oreo and scraped the filling off with his teeth. He discarded the remainder of the cookie on the counter and grabbed another. He proceeded to devour the filling of an entire bag of Oreo's. Alec tossed the empty package over his shoulder and rummaged through the cupboard for another bag of Oreo's.  
  
Logan grabbed the package from him.  
  
"Alec you can't have anymore cookies until you finish the ones you've already started."  
  
Logan said sternly. Alec looked around confused.  
  
"I've finished all my cookies." He said.  
  
"What about those?" Logan said pointing to the pile of cookies on the counter.  
  
"Oh! I was saving those for Max."  
  
"Saving them for Max?" Logan repeated.  
  
Alec nodded. "Yeah. She loves the outsides but hates the filling. I'm exactly the opposite. I guess that's why we're perfect for each other." He said smiling. *He got such a kick out of messing with Logan's head. * "Can I have a baggy?" Alec asked and waved to the Oreo's on the counter.  
  
Logan found a bag and Alec put the cookies in the bag and stuck it in his pocket. He glanced at his watch. He needed to stall for three more minutes. He glanced around the room. His eyes fell on the package sitting on the table.  
  
"So Logan what do you have in here?" Alec said picking it up and shaking it.  
  
"Nothing much" Logan said avoiding the subject.  
  
"Ah c'mon you can tell me! Hey it's not a blow-up version of Max is it?"  
  
"It's computer equipment." Logan said.  
  
"Oh let's see." Alec said ripping open the box. "Normal must have messed up badly Logan because this looks like hair dye and contact lenses. I guess I'll just take it back and tell him there was a screw up." Alec began rewrapping the package.  
  
"It's mine." Logan said quietly.  
  
"Excuse me could you say that again?" Alec asked. Logan glared at him. They both knew that Alec had heard perfectly well.  
  
"It's mine." Logan said louder.  
  
"It's a very nice shade." Alec said examining the box and handing it to Logan. "Of course someone as old as you needs to dye his hair on a regular basis."  
  
"Just wait Alec. You'll be my age some day."  
  
"Yeah but I'll age gracefully. It's in the genes." He glanced at the contacts. "Coloured contacts?" He asked. His expression turned serious "Logan is someone on to Eyes Only?" Alec asked concernedly.  
  
Logan considered lying but he knew that that would be one lie too far. "No," he said finally. " I just thought it was time for a change."  
  
Alec nodded. He glanced at his watch.  
  
" I have to get back to work now." Alec said and abruptly left the apartment.  
  
Logan stared after him in shock. *How could Max stand to be around that annoying excuse for a human? *  
  
He pulled out the dye box and read the instructions.  
  
  
  
As soon as Alec had ridden around the corner he pulled the cookies from his pocket. He popped one in his mouth. *Logan's up to something. * He thought as he munched. *But what? * Sumo appeared beside him and jumped on the back of his bike. "A little subtlety maybe?" Alec called back to the giant squirrel. Sumo glared at him and told him that the mission had gone exactly as planned.  
  
  
  
The next day  
  
After work Alec and Max had ridden over to Logan's apartment. Alec had tried to wheedle out of it but ended up going because he knew Max didn't want to go alone.  
  
They now sat waiting uncomfortably on Logan's couch.  
  
Logan immerged from the bathroom still swathed in bandages.  
  
"He dyed his hair." Max whispered to Alec.  
  
"And he's wearing colour contacts." Alec whispered back.  
  
Logan went into the kitchen and returned with a plate heaped high with fillingless Oreo's.  
  
Max stared at the cookies. She picked one up and studied it carefully. Logan was grinning as best he could under the bandages.  
  
"Where is the rest of the cookie?" She whispered to Alec.  
  
He shrugged. "I told you. He's gone completely off the deep end. Just play along."  
  
Max smiled fakely at Logan. "Wow Logan these cookies are awesome."  
  
Two hours later.  
  
"Logan that's enough cookies!" Alec snapped getting near the end of his rope. "Are you going to take off your bandages or can we go?"  
  
"Logan I think it's time." Max said as patiently as she could.  
  
"Ok Ok." Logan said. He took the cookies back into the kitchen. 15 minutes later he immerged hesitantly. A hand reached up to peel the bandage away from his face. Familiar features peered out at them. Alec's features. Ben's features.  
  
Alec choked on his last bit of cookie as the face was revealed. Max gasped in horror.  
  
"What have you done?" she cried. 


	16. Revelation

Max stared in shock at Logan's face wondering how features that looked so perfect on one person could look so completely wrong on another. Maybe it was because of the purple still swollen quality that Logan's skin had temporarily adopted or the fact that each aspect of his face seemed to be spread a little too widely, like too little butter over too much bread. Whatever the reason the result was totally unappealing.  
  
Alec tugged on Max's sleeve.  
  
"Please tell me I don't look like that." He said.  
  
"Alec you didn't look that bad after I sacked you in the balls."  
  
"Ok just checking." Alec said relieved. He returned to his previous position and sat with a pained look on his face. He couldn't decide between ripping Logan's head off and feeding it to Sumo or laughing his ass off. So he just sat there.  
  
Silence hung in the apartment. Logan stared down at the expensive rug on the floor. Max was looking anywhere but Logan and Alec was peering intently into the shadows of Logan's face trying to figure out what went wrong.  
  
Curiosity finally got the better of Alec.  
  
"Why'd you do it man?" He asked breaking the silence. "I mean I can understand why anyone would want to look like me but…"  
  
" Shut up!" Logan said vehemently."  
  
"Hey! You were the one who stole MY face. Not the other way around. I think I deserve an explanation."  
  
"I did it for Max." Logan said quietly.  
  
"For Max." Alec repeated sceptically.  
  
"How the hell could that be for me Logan?" Max said harshly motioning to his disfigured face.  
  
" I thought that you would like it." He said.  
  
" You mutilated yourself to look my dead brother and you thought that I would like it? Logan! What the hell is wrong with you?"  
  
"I… I thought that it would keep me from losing you."  
  
"As opposed to just scaring the shit out of her." Alec added helpfully.  
  
Logan glared at Alec.  
  
"Logan I don't understand where you got this idea from. I never said anything to lead you to believe…"Max said still trying to comprehend Logan's logic.  
  
"You can get enough of this face on Alec!" Logan said bitterly.  
  
Max froze. "Is that what this is about? Me and Alec?" she said.  
  
"Now it's all coming clear." Alec said. "The cameras, the incessant paging…"  
  
Logan ignored Alec and turned to Max.  
  
"I love you Max and I every time I see you with him it rips my heart out."  
  
"Yeah, but if you hadn't been spying on us your heart wouldn't have been ripped out nearly as many times." Alec said sarcastically.  
  
"I had to stop it. It's obvious that the only reason you are with him is because you are physically attracted to him. So I took action. Now we can be happy Max." Logan said smiling. His smile was not like Alec's or even Ben's it twisted his features grotesquely. Max grimaced at the sight and the fact that her believed her to be so shallow.  
  
"Logan, I told you it's over." She said quietly.  
  
"Max I don't understand. We can be together now."  
  
"Have you completely forgotten that we can even touch?"  
  
"We have the suits…"  
  
"No Logan I can't do that." Max said shaking her head. "I can't go back to pretending that everything is Ok."  
  
"We'll find a cure Max we will."  
  
"I don't want to find a cure anymore Logan!" Max cried " I can't take you stalking me and breathing down my neck all the time. Ever since I got this virus you've been trying to hold on so tight that I've been suffocating and you haven't even noticed. I have to move on and so do you."  
  
"Max…"  
  
"No Logan. I know what you are going to say and the answer is no. I can't deal with you paging me 40 times an hour or sending me on bogus missions that make you feel important. I can't and I won't. I've told you it's over. Accept it!"  
  
"What does he have that I don't?" Logan yelled. " I'm practically perfect! I'm rich, heroic and sensitive. I can give you anything Max. Anything! What can he give you? He's a just genetically engineered little shit that runs around and screws everything up! Or anything in a skirt. Take your pick. Either way you're deluding yourself if you think that he's going to stick around for long"  
  
"Logan you have no idea what you're talking about."  
  
"What do you see in him? He's not Ben Max! So what else is there? His asshole attitude? Well guess what Max I can be an asshole too!"  
  
"You are an asshole Logan. I was just too blind to see it before. You think I love Alec because he looks like Ben? I don't even see Ben when I look at him anymore. I love him because don't have to pretend with him, I don't have to hide from him and every time I touch him I feel like the world could fall down around me and I wouldn't care. You can't buy that Logan and you never gave me any of that!" Max yelled. Alec looked up at Max in surprise. *She loved him? *  
  
"Well that's great! You love Alec! At least he's not as bad as Ben. Now there was a real waste of the taxpayers dollars. Not to mention Zack and…"  
  
"What did you say?" Max said deadly calm.  
  
"I said that Ben and Zack were genetic mistakes and a waste of this country's money."  
  
"You smarmy little bastard!" Alec said coldly his eyes narrowing into slits like a cat's.  
  
"I'm going to kill you!" Max said in a deadly voice. "I am going to kill you and never look back."  
  
Max sprang towards Logan claws drawn. An inch before she reach Logan she was yanked back. Alec's arms wound around her and restrained her.  
  
"Let me go Alec! I'm going to kill him."  
  
"No you're not Max. You'd hate yourself forever."  
  
Max slumped a little bit. "He deserves to suffer." She said.  
  
"I never said he wouldn't suffer." Alec brought a hand to his lips and whistled. Sumo lumbered into the room like a wrestler. He looked at Alec who nodded. Salaziah and Hekeziah appeared and scrambled onto Alec's shoulders. Sumo cracked his neck and sprang onto Logan's chest. Logan fell backward arms flailing in fright. Sumo sat placidly on his chest and bitch slapped him for his crimes.  
  
Alec smiled at the sight "It's time for payback." He said quietly into Max's hair. "Salaziah. Gather up every communication device Logan has. Hekeziah go retrieve the beeper from my wall." The squirrels jumped down and scurried to do their tasks.  
  
"You calm now?" He asked Max who nodded. He released her and she walked over to where Sumo was pummelling Logan. She looked down at Logan who glared back at her. She smiled. "Alec can you get me some duct tape?"  
  
An hour later.  
  
Max finished the last roll of duct tape and stood back to admire her work. Logan was completely duct taped to his couch. Only his head was free and he looked miserable. A huge pile of electronic equipment sat in the middle of living room in front of them. All they needed now was for Hekeziah to return with the beeper.  
  
"We might as well get started." Alec said, "When Hekeziah gets here, he gets here. Now where did I put that gun?" He walked over to a rifle that several squirrels had hauled in.  
  
"What's first Max? He asked. She held up Logan's phone grinning.  
  
"Ready when you are." She said. Alec cocked the gun and prepared to fire.  
  
"Ready." He said. Max lobbed the phone out the open window and Alec shot it like a clay pigeon. It shattered in mid flight. The squirrels cheered. Logan's cell phone met a similar fate. Then the squirrels began dropping various electrical devices out the window which smashed on the sidewalk below.  
  
Hekeziah arrived with the piece de resistance. It was time for the beeper to fight its last battle.  
  
  
  
A/n I hope you guys liked this chapter. I had to drag it out of myself. I think I have one chapter left. (I never know when I write fanfiction though. This was supposed to only be a one-chapter story.) I would finish this now but I have to go to work. 


	17. Speeches

"What are we going to do to it?" Max asked staring at the beeper held gingerly between Alec's fingers. Alec smiled but said nothing.  
  
"We are going to destroy it right?" She persisted.  
  
"Oh Yes." Alec replied.  
  
"How?"  
  
"You'll have to wait and see." he grinned.  
  
"But…" Max pouted.  
  
"Shhh!" Alec hushed her. "You'll ruin my cheesy inspirational speech."  
  
" Your cheesy inspirational speech?" Max asked sceptically.  
  
"Max! Haven't you ever seen a Hollywood movie? All the great ones have cheesy speeches right before the big battle/ action scene."  
  
Max looked at him unimpressed.  
  
"You'll see Max. Just wait."  
  
"Don't you go and get all cracked on me now!"  
  
He gave her his trademark smirk and stepped onto Logan's expensive mahogany coffee table. It creaked in protest as Alec turned to face his followers the beeper grasped tightly in his hand.  
  
Standing on top of a table in a leather jacket and jeans surrounded by squirrels Alec looked piercingly regal. A reverent hush fell over the room as hundreds of squirrel faces peered up at him waiting. Alec cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak when Logan's voice cut him off.  
  
"Alec! Get off my coffee table right now!"  
  
Alec's mouth snapped shut and everyone in the room turned to stare at Logan who was still duct taped to the couch.  
  
Alec turned to Max. "You forgot to duct tape his mouth? What did you fail kidnapping 101? You always duct tape the mouth! That's like the first thing you do! Do we have anymore duct tape?"  
  
The squirrels shook their heads.  
  
"…That is a very expensive coffee table. It was carved out of a single piece of wood in a remote Indian village. I picked it up on my travels there." Logan continued to blabber on about how the coffee table was made.  
  
Ten minutes later a very annoyed Alec jumped off the table and upended it revealing a little gold sticker on the underside. Alec dragged the table until the sticker was right in front of Logan's face.  
  
"What does this say?" He asked pointing to the sticker.  
  
"Made in Taiwan." Logan said his head slumping.  
  
"Yes. And where did you buy it?"  
  
"I got it for 10 bucks at a garage sale."  
  
"Thankyou!" Alec said. "Now can you please shut up."  
  
Alec climbed back up on the coffee table and regained his composure. The room grew silent once again.  
  
"Today." He started. "Is a great day! A day when the world changes because of something we have done. Something all of you here will be a part of. Today we will free ourselves of the confines that have been placed on us by our own creations. We have become servants to our technology. Once free souls now answer to the beck and call of their pagers, telephones and computers. We are enslaved by credit cards, Internet rates, and free calling after 6 p.m. and on weekends. Long have we suffered the unjust tyranny of an electronic world. But no more! Today is the day we rise up and take action!"  
  
Alec paused for dramatic effect.  
  
"How many times have you dropped everything because your pager beeped, your telephone rang, or your instant messenger popped up? How many times have you stayed indoors to watch a TV show or go on the computer? How many life experiences have we missed because we spend our time locked deep in a dungeon basement with our electronic lights and sounds? I say too many! And I say it ends now!"  
  
"I'm really not seeing how any of this is relevant at all." Logan cut in  
  
Alec glared at him. "Will someone please shut him up! He's ruining my speech!"  
  
"What are you going to do Alec? Drop every single piece of electronic equipment you find off the space needle?"  
  
"Tempting but no. I have a better idea. Which is what I was getting to..."  
  
Alec straightened and resumed his regal pose.  
  
"What I am suggesting is that we end the madness of the technological age." Alec began.  
  
"Let me get this straight. Mr I must have a TV at all costs wants to destroy technology?" Logan stated snobbishly.  
  
"They cancelled my favourite show!" Alec replied "I'm a little bitter. So it's either this or blow up the world."  
  
"Oh so you want to ruin the world for the rest of us?" Logan replied.  
  
"Haven't I warned you about talking?"  
  
"What are you going to do Alec? Get a squirrel to sit on me?"  
  
"That's it!" Alec fumed. "You've left me no other options."  
  
Alec sat down on the table and removed his shoes. He carefully stripped off his socks and rolled them into little balls before promptly shoving them into Logan's mouth. Logan gagged and tried to spit them out but the socks remained firm. Chittering laughter filled the room at the sight. Alec stood back up on the table.  
  
"The war is not between man transgenic and squirrel but against technology. Technology is the greatest threat to everyone's survival. Without technology they cannot track us, they can not contain us, and they cannot kill us. That is why I am proposing that using this beeper…" Alec raised the beeper to the sky " We recreate the pulse. And free the children of future generations. People! We are going to have fireworks tonight!"  
  
There was a hush and then the room erupted in violent cheers.  
  
"It was a great speech Alec." Max said  
  
"I know." He said smiling and pulled her into a kiss.  
  
"Operation pulse commences in exactly 5 hours. We have a lot of work to do people. Let's get moving." Came Hekeziah's voice from the crowd. The squirrels scattered to do their jobs and the room was left empty except for the two kissing transgenics, a duct-taped man, an overweight squirrel and one very important beeper.  
  
TBC  
  
A/n: Ok I had the worst writer's block ever with this chapter. I finally forced myself to sit down and write it but I'm having a "that was really stupid and not good enough for the story" kind of feeling. I tried to end it this chapter but I couldn't do that either. I think I'll go work on my other stories, which are being nicer to me now. 


	18. Change in Plans

A/n Haha the writers block is GONE!!!!!!!  
  
Now I have an issue to address because it's been bothering me. I love writing fanfiction and I love coming up with wacky ideas to entertain you guys but *Takes deep breath and let's bitchy Arwendle take over* when I start seeing blatent ripoffs of my stories being passed off as original ideas it kind of ticks me off! Now don't get me wrong. I have no problems with allusions to my stories (in fact I rather enjoy them and get a kick out of them) and I'm not saying that the words squirrel and beeper should be forbidden from all other stories. I don't even mind when you totally rip off major plots and characters (I think it's flattering) AS LONG AS YOU SAY "Hey everybody I got this really great idea from Arwendle's story and it made me want to write this great fic." Okay. Sorry I had to get that off my chest. The bitchiness has ended. Enjoy the story. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter.  
  
  
  
Logan watched with disgust as Alec pulled Max into a deep kiss. Alec's hands roamed south from Max's hair down the expanse of her back to her nicely curved bottom before wrapping around her waist and pulling her close. Max's hands made similar movements and ended up stroking Alec's barcode. Their kiss never broke.  
  
Logan looked away from the scene nauseated his glance falling on the beeper.  
  
The beeper was sitting casually unguarded on the coffee table just 3 ft in front of him. It appeared so unassuming and inconsequential that Logan almost laughed at loud at the trouble it had caused. Thoughts began to pour through Logan's head. *What if he hadn't paged Max so much? What if he had gotten her a ring instead of that stupid beeper? What if he hadn't tried to spy on her? If he hadn't, would things be different now? Would his world still be ending? Because it was ending. How could he survive with out technology? How would he walk? Communicate? Store information? And how would he be able to prove that his bank balance was higher than the bum on the corner? He would become average street scum. Not to mention that he would never find the cure for the virus. Once he found that Max would love him again. Especially now that he had his new svelte look. *  
  
His eyes wandered back to the beeper. *If he could just get a hold of the beeper somehow. Then he could end this nightmare. * He glanced at Alec and Max. They were still deeply involved in their make-out session and by the sounds coming from the kitchen he ascertained that the giant squirrel was entirely preoccupied with the contents of his refrigerator. Logan glanced at the clock. 4 hours and 48 minutes until the end of technology. Very slowly so as not to draw attention to himself Logan began to wiggle. The duct tape held him firm. He wiggled again. It was barely perceptible but this time the tape was a little looser. He began to move a bit faster.  
  
  
  
Alec and Max broke their kiss and grinned at each other.  
  
"You are one damn good kisser Alec." Max said.  
  
"So is that why you love me then?" He asked teasingly. Max froze.  
  
"What are you talking about?" She said defensively. "I don't love you Alec! I HATE you! I can't stand to be around you."  
  
"Really?" Said Alec looking down at their entwined limbs. " That's very unfortunate because I happen to love you."  
  
A huge smile sprang to Max's face.  
  
"You love me?" She asked. Alec nodded.  
  
"Since the moment I lay eyes on you." He replied softly. She looked deep into his eyes.  
  
"I love you too." She said shaking with emotion. She reached up and brushed some hair from his face.  
  
"Wait a second. Didn't you just say you hated me?" Alec joked  
  
"I lied." She said placing a gentle peck on his lips.  
  
"How do I know you're not lying now?"  
  
"I think I can prove it to you." Max said and pulled him into another deep kiss.  
  
  
  
Logan froze when Max and Alec broke their kiss. He was paranoid that they would notice him or move the beeper. They didn't even glance in his direction and were soon once again consumed with their liplock. Logan stared at the clock as he struggled to free himself. 4 hours and 35 minutes left. His shoulders had come free and he was now beginning to work on his arms.  
  
Max and Alec had not broken their kiss except to change positions.  
  
* They're going to get blisters if they continue at that rate. * Logan thought bitterly. Then he thanked providence that they were too self involved to notice his attempt to spoil their scheme.  
  
  
  
Logan watched chagrined as Max began slowly backing Alec down the hall to a bedroom. Alec complied readily and began stripping Max of clothing. Their lips parting only when Max pulled Alec's shirt over his head. They disappeared into the nearest bedroom and closed the door.  
  
As soon as he was alone Logan began to work frantically. He could hear Max from the bedroom but kept working. * Maybe after this whole thing was over and he had hidden the beeper in the deepest part of the ocean. He could come back with some fancy technology and face Alec man to man for stealing his girl. Yeah nice technology like machine guns and rocket launchers*  
  
Once he had freed his hands the process became considerably faster. By the time the countdown had reached 4 hours he had retained total mobility within his duct tape cocoon. Unfortunately there were several rolls of duct tape still pinning him to the couch.  
  
He began rocking forward trying to stretch or possibly roll over the duct tape. He was one pull away from being free of his confines when he realised that the sounds coming from the kitchen had stopped. Logan froze in terror.  
  
Sumo sauntered into the room looking larger than ever. Presumably having devoured the entire contents of Logan's kitchen. After several unsuccessful attempts to jump up onto the coffee table Sumo climbed up one of the legs and collapsed on top of the beeper and promptly fell asleep.  
  
  
  
Logan swore to himself. This was not fair! He had been so close! Thirty seconds and he would have been gone. Crestfallen he watched as the minutes on the clock ticked by. He had been robbed of his victory. There was no way he could get the beeper now. He looked at the sleeping squirrel. Then again maybe not…  
  
  
  
Logan took a deep breath and prepared for what he was about to do. He rolled forward off the couch and wiggled out of the duct tape cocoon. Sumo's eyes snapped open as he stood up but Logan was prepared. He caught Sumo with some loose duct tape as the squirrel hurtled towards him. He quickly completed restraining him and grabbed the beeper off the table. He took one last look around as he shoved it in his pocket. Then Logan remembered his secret stash and pulled the pillows off his couch. He groped blindly and came up with his prize. Then with a hog-tied squirrel under one arm and a bottle of pre-pulse champagne under the other Logan made his way out of the apartment.  
  
  
  
Max woke up wrapped tightly in Alec's arms. Everything was perfect she thought. She was in love with a guy who she could touch and who loved her back. Not to mention the fact that he was great in bed. Alec stirred next to her and pulled her closer.  
  
"I love you." He whispered in her ear.  
  
"I love you too." She said her hands trailing along his naked chest.  
  
"As much as I hate to. I think we had better get up." Alec said regretfully. "Everyone will be here soon." He said pulling on his pants.  
  
Max whimpered.  
  
"I don't want toooooo."  
  
"Well you have to. Here I'll even help you get dressed." He said as he slid her panties up her legs. He reached for her bra and slid the silky fabric up her stomach. He ran his fingers up her back and pulled her bra on while kissing her neck softly. His fingers fumbled with the clasp.  
  
"I'm an expert at taking these things off." He joked "But I'm afraid I don't have much experience putting them on."  
  
"Well you'll have lots of practice because I like having you dress me." Max smiled as he pulled her pants on.  
  
" As long as I get to undress you first I'm fine with that." Alec said kissing her forehead.  
  
"I think our shirts are in the hall."  
  
Max opened the door and stepped out into the hall. Something was wrong. She could tell right away. She picked up her shirt and quickly pulled it over her head before proceeding to the living room. Logan was gone, in his place only a mess of broken duct tape. Then she saw what she feared most. The coffee table was empty, which could mean only one thing. The beeper was gone. And if the beeper was gone she knew that Sumo was too. 


	19. Kidnapped

The road stretched out in a straight unbreaking line for as far as Logan could see. He had been driving aimlessly for a week and there was no end in sight. It wasn't that Logan couldn't decide on a location. It was that he was scared to stop. Because if he stopped they would catch up with him.  
  
Logan glanced over at the passenger seat where Sumo was sitting. His arms were crossed and he was glaring grumpily out the window like an angry two- year-old. The duct tape had finally been removed yesterday after Logan had extracted a promise from Sumo that there would be no more assassination attempts. As soon as the duct tape had come off however Sumo had attempted to gouge out his eyes. This prompted Logan to stop in the next town and purchase a restraining device more often known as a car seat. A move that didn't seem to impress Sumo all that much. Sumo had protested loudly at first and had called Logan names from the confines of his seat. For six straight hours Sumo had ranted. Never once repeating himself and never breaking or pausing. Logan had attempted to drown Sumo out by turning the radio up as loud as it would go but he could still make out the chattering. Unfortunately the only radio station Logan seemed to be able to get was some Oldies station. Finally couldn't take any more of the Backstreet Boys and turned the radio down in defeat. Sumo continued his speech with renewed zest. Logan in a desperate attempt to get away from Sumo's incessant chittering had pulled into a fast food restaurant leaving Sumo in the car by himself. He knew that they always said 'never leave your pet in the car on a hot day.' *But, * Logan rationalised. *Sumo wasn't really a pet and he had never heard anyone say 'don't leave your hostage in the car on a hot day'. If he brought Sumo back a lot of food his conscience would be clear. * Logan returned with six hamburgers, fries, milkshakes and doughnuts.  
  
Sumo was immediately distracted by the food and ate, unstopping for an hour. After that his hostage had been exceptionally well behaved. Except that every food place they passed Logan had to stop and a buy Sumo something to eat. Sumo began to collect a mountain of fast food restaurant toys, cups, plates and wrappers on the floor around him. The squirrel had the highest metabolism that Logan had ever seen. He was shocked that Sumo wasn't the size of a house.  
  
Everything had begun to go pretty well. Sumo was even participating in small talk between meals. Then Logan had refused to buy Sumo another ice cream. Sumo had given Logan the dirtiest look and had fallen into an angry silence. Logan supposed this was for the best. At least Sumo had given up trying to kill him for the moment.  
  
Logan stared back at the road and sighed. There was nothing in sight except the thin ribbon of the road and the waving grass.  
  
  
  
A police car appeared on the horizon. Logan glanced at the speedometer. He was doing the speed limit perfectly. He had nothing to worry about even if the officer did pull him over. Then he realised that he had an oversized talking squirrel eating fast food strapped into a child seat beside him. Logan made a quick decision. He unclipped Sumo and in one swift motion stuffed him head first into the glove compartment. He could hear Sumo pounding as he looked up to see a tan clad police officer waving him over to the side of the road. Logan pulled onto the shoulder and rolled down his window. The officer strolled over to the car and peered in.  
  
"Afternoon sir!" The officer said chewing on a piece of gum. "May I have your licence and registration please."  
  
"Certainly," Logan replied smoothly as he pulled his licence out of his wallet and handed it to the officer. Then he reached for the glove compartment where he had shoved what he was sure was a now very irate killer squirrel and which was the location of his registration papers. Logan's arm froze.  
  
"Registration please." The officer repeated.  
  
"Um…just a sec…" Logan replied.  
  
"Sir are you concealing an unlawful object in that glove box that you do not wish for me to see?"  
  
"No sir. Not at all." Logan replied, Sweat dripping down his forehead.  
  
"Sir?" The officer asked again.  
  
Logan took a deep breath and quickly opened the glove compartment. Sumo hurtled out and quickly disappeared under the pile of garbage on the floor. Logan glanced at the officer who seemed to have been oblivious to the flying squirrel and then pulled out his registration. The officer walked over to the other car door and examined the glove compartment suspiciously. Finding nothing unusual the officer studied the registration for a moment and then handed it back to him.  
  
"Mr. Cale. I'm going to have to give you a speeding ticket."  
  
"What?" Logan said shocked "I was going exactly the speed limit!"  
  
"The radar says you were going 73 in a 70 zone sir. If you would like to dispute the ticket you may take it to court in the nearest town within in the next 24 hours."  
  
"No that's fine I'll just pay it." Logan said annoyed.  
  
"The ticket comes to $275.00 sir."  
  
Logan felt the bile rise in his throat. "275?"  
  
"That is correct sir. You may pay it at the nearest courthouse."  
  
"Can't I just pay you?"  
  
"No sir! You must pay at the nearest courthouse." The officer ripped off the ticket he had been writing and handed it to Logan who scowled.  
  
"Can't I mail a check or something?" Logan asked.  
  
"You can only pay it in person at the nearest courthouse sir. Now, have a nice day!" The officer said and walked back to his car.  
  
  
  
Logan drove into the town of Westmont and parked in front of the courthouse. He glanced at his watch. It was 5p.m. He walked up to the desk and produced his speeding ticket.  
  
"I'd like to pay this." He said to the matronly woman who was sitting behind the solid oak desk.  
  
"Sorry we're closed." She said disinterestedly. "You can come back on Monday at 9 a.m. and pay it then."  
  
"It's Saturday I don't want to wait two days. It will only take a minute and I would greatly appreciate if you could process this now."  
  
"I'm sorry that's just not possible. There is a nice bed and breakfast around the corner. Now please come back on Monday." The lady placed a closed sign on her desk and left the room. Logan exited the building and bought an ice cream before returning to the car. He coaxed sumo out from under the garbage with the ice cream and the promise that they would have pizza for dinner. Then he turned on the car and drove to the Bed and breakfast.  
  
  
  
"564 bottles of beer on the wall. 564 bottles of beer. Take one down pass it around 563 bottles of beer on the wall. 563 bottles of beer on the wall…" Max glanced over at Alec who was driving the red convertible. They had been driving for almost a week as they tracked Logan across the country. It was fun she admitted to herself. Just her and Alec on the open road singing repetitive songs. The road trip was more about them spending time together than actually trying to find Logan. Max was beginning to hope that they never found Logan so their roadtrip could go on indefinitely. Sumo would be fine she knew and the beeper had just been Alec dealing with his boredom. He had something to keep him occupied now Max thought to herself smugly. In the distance she could make out a police car.  
  
The police officer waved Alec onto the shoulder and leaned into the car.  
  
"License and registration please." He said between chews of his gum…  
  
It was 4 in the morning before Alec and Max were finally settled in the little bed and breakfast in Westmont. Apparently that was the only place that they could pay the stupid ticket. Alec lay in bed and cradled Max to his chest.  
  
"You know I almost hope we never find him." He whispered into her hair.  
  
In the next room Logan slept soundly the beeper clasped tightly in his hand.  
  
  
  
A/n Sorry I took so long to update I had so much other stuff going on this week I didn't have time to write it down. This chapter just wrote itself. I hope you enjoyed it. Any info on the process of getting a speeding ticket I really don't know anything about so if details are off I'm sorry. 


	20. Total Destruction

A/n There seems to be a serious falling off in readership in this story so if I don't hear anything this will be the story finale. In effect the story is being cancelled due to lack of interest.  
  
A/n I know I said that they were in a bed in breakfast but it ended up more like a hotel. Just think really big bed and breakfast.  
  
Logan heard voices in the room next to him. Not just any voices familiar voices. One of the voices he would have once considered the sweetest sound in the world solely on the merit of its master. Without a doubt it was Max and Alec on the other side of that wall. Not only the voices matched but the bantering as well. Logan slumped to the floor. *They had caught up to him. Now there was no telling what they would do to him or what would happen when they got their hands on the beeper. Logan jumped up from the floor and began pacing frantically trying to think of a plan. Anything to stop or at least delay his almost certain fate. The beeper was clutched tightly in his sweaty palm as he desperately sought for a way to amend the situation. He knew there had to be a way.  
  
Logan worried long past the time when the adjacent room fell silent. He was terrified of staying and terrified of leaving so he sat immobile. By the time the sun began to peek through the window he had made up his mind. He quickly got to his feet and paused listening. He heard silence in the transgenics room. *If he left now he could escape while they were distracted. They would never even know he had been there. * He grabbed his coat and scrawled a quick note to Sumo.  
  
" Sumo, sorry for everything. You were a very good hostage but I had to skip town without you. I hope you can understand.  
  
Sincerely, Logan  
  
P.S. Could you please pay my speeding ticket? I will find a way to reimburse you at some point in the future."  
  
Logan reread the note. Satisfied, he placed it on the dresser and stepped out into the hallway. Logan glanced both ways to make sure no one was in sight. He began to walk down the hall supremely happy that he had figured out the speeding ticket mess and technically wouldn't be breaking the law.  
  
  
  
Alec was lying in a king-sized bed with his arms wrapped tightly around a naked sleeping Max. He stared down at her still not believing his luck. Max was so beautiful and she loved him. He ran his fingers gently through her hair. It was moments like this that he was glad that he was alive. He had an overwhelming wish to stay there forever in the perfect moment. Well… the semi perfect moment. There was the slight distraction of his stomach telling him it was time for breakfast but other than that… Besides, he could withstand a little hunger. He was a Manticore soldier and could go for weeks without food. He stared down at Max again entranced. The smell of bacon and eggs began to drift up the stairs from the dinning room. To Alec's extra sensitive nose the aroma seemed to swirl and spin around him enticing him with promises of flavour sensations. It tortured his empty belly and made his mouth water. Maybe Max would like breakfast in bed. He reasoned as he eagerly but reluctantly slid out of Max's embrace. He picked his boxers off the floor where they had been discarded and pulled them on. Not bothering with other clothing Alec grabbed the key and headed down the stairs to breakfast.  
  
  
  
Logan heard a door opening in the hall behind him. He glanced back, eyes opening in terror as he realised what door it was. *He couldn't be caught! Not now! What if his speeding ticket never got paid? He could have a criminal record! That would make Mr. Eyes Only himself no better than the people he exposed. He wasn't going to let that happen! Just like he wasn't going to let Alec destroy technology or steal his girl. * Logan reached out and tried the nearest door handle. It was locked. He hurried on and tried the next one. It too was locked. He could hear the door down the hall opening wider. He sprinted the few steps to the end of the hall and turned the corner. He pushed the elevator button desperately. He could hear footsteps walking steadily down the hall coming closer and closer. Logan looked around like a cornered cat. He spotted the janitors closet and prayed silently that it was open as he turned the knob. Nothing. He turned it again frantic now. The handle turned and Logan yanked the door open and jumped inside. He pushed the door shut without so much as a glance down the hall.  
  
The room was dark and filled with strong chemical odours. Logan reached upwards and turned on the single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Then he sat back and waited. He was going to be very sure that Alec and Max were long gone before he came out.  
  
  
  
All conversation in the dining room stopped as Alec entered. The women gawked openly at the scantily clad man whose hair was ruffled sexily from bed. The men glared jealous of his trim physique. Alec didn't appear to notice the attention he was attracting as he got a plate and stood in the buffet line up. Alec may not have appeared to notice the attention but his senses were on full alert. His eyes flicked rapidly around the room assessing dangers and possible threats. *Damn the Manticore training * he thought. * He couldn't even enter a room without filtering conversations and calculating postures to determine each person's motives. * He noticed several women staring intently at him and realising his exposed condition casually ran a hand through his hair so it covered his bare barcode. There was almost an audible sigh from the women in the room as he did so. It amused Alec. He knew that he could have any women in the room but he also knew that he was no longer interested and never would be. Now that he had Max he had everything he wanted…except breakfast. He picked up a plate and joined the buffet line. His goal now was to get as much food as fast as possible so he could go back to Max and not leave the room until Monday morning. Alec quickly piled his plate high with food and left the dining room but not before several women had shoved napkins with their phone numbers into the waistband of his boxers.  
  
  
  
Logan looked at his watch. 15 minutes. Alec and Max should be long gone by now. They probably wanted to get an early start. Logan opened the door only to see Alec walking out of the elevator in his boxers with a huge plate of food. Logan slammed the door shut again and twisted the lock violently. Logan sat with his back against the door waiting for Alec to punch through it and grab him by the neck. Nothing happened. *He's toying with me. * Logan thought. *He wants me to think I'm safe and come out in the open. But I'm not that stupid I won't do it. * He thought smugly to himself.  
  
  
  
Unbeknownst to Logan Alec had been so intent on getting back to Max that he hadn't even noticed the janitors closet door opening and closing. He had returned to his room where he discovered Max just waking up. He smiled as the disappointment he saw in her face when she realised he wasn't in bed with her changed to a grin when she saw him standing in the door with a plate of food. She motioned him forwardly seductively and he complied.  
  
  
  
Logan was getting bored. He had been sitting in the closet for an hour. He had even begun to read the labels on the bottles of chemicals. Actually he'd read through them all…twice. He pulled the beeper out of his pocket and considered it while twirling it in his hand. *How much trouble has been caused by such an insignificant bauble. * He thought. *And it will cause more. * He realised. *Unless somehow he destroyed it. It had to be possible. There had to be a way and if there was he would find it. * Logan got a hammer that was hanging on the wall and hammered at the beeper until his arm was too tired to raise. He dropped the hammer and examined the beeper. It didn't appear to have even a scratch. He reached over and grabbed a saw.  
  
Logan worked for several hours using a variety of different tools. He was about to give up when he noticed that the casing seemed to be coming apart slightly in one corner. He grabbed a pair of pliers and pulled. With great difficulty he managed to pop the shell open exposing the guts of the machine. *Jackpot! * He thought as he went to work with some wire cutters. Logan cut like a madman. He wanted to destroy this abomination and the pain that it had caused. He wanted to hurt it until there was nothing left to hurt. Logan began to cackle. The pieces became smaller and smaller and Logan cackled louder and louder. When the last little bit of the beeper had been cut up as small as it would go Logan stopped and stared at the pile of beeper particles that were left on the floor in front of him. *He had massacred it. * He realised in shock. * He had become a murderer of innocent technology. He was becoming a lawless fiend. A cold-blooded killer. At this rate he would be kidnapping teenage girls to ship all over the world as prostitutes or owning an international drug ring by the ended of the month. He had to get rid of all the evidence. No one must ever know that Logan Cale was anything less than an upstanding citizen. Anything less than perfect. * Logan's raging mind kept running around in similar thought circles as he opened random bottles of chemical and dropped bits of beeper in hoping that they would become dissolved and corroded. * Now I have to get as far away as possible from anything that put me at the scene.* He thought to himself impressed with how he was handling the situation. He put everything back in its proper place and went to the door.  
  
Preparing for the worst Logan held his breath as he turned the handle. Nothing happened. He tried again. The door didn't budge. *What if Alec had locked him in and was waiting for him to starve to death while he ate his greasy breakfast on the other side of the door? What if nobody found him? It was Sunday! Nobody worked on Sundays in small towns. He would be trapped for at least a day and would probably die forgotten in a closet. How the mighty have fallen. * He mused *And even if he was alive when they found him how could he explain being in the closet in the first place? Someone would get suspicious and it would become a crime scene. Then they would find it. They would find the dismembered body of the beeper and they would take him away. He would go to jail and have a big red X placed on his record forever. * Logan tried to hold back tears as he surveyed the room around him. *His fingerprints were all over the bottles, his DNA was everywhere and some of the body was clearly visible where it was sitting in clear plastic bottles. They say that when you commit a murder you make 50 mistakes. If you are a genius you can name 20 of them. Well I can name at least 30 but I already knew I was a genius. Maybe if I mix the chemicals up it will corrode faster…*  
  
  
  
There was a knock on the door and Alec groaned.  
  
"Max get the door."  
  
"You get the door I can't move."  
  
"And you think that I could move after that?"  
  
"Well you shouldn't have brought up so much food then." Max said sternly.  
  
"I was planning on eating it over several hours until you started the eating contest."  
  
"Which I won." Max said jabbing Alec's protruding belly.  
  
The knock came again.  
  
"Urg…" Max said.  
  
"We'll both get it."  
  
"Nooooooo!" Max said as Alec lifted her up and carried her to the door. The knock came again stern sounding. Max reached for the door and flung it open. The two trangenics stared out into the empty hall. Then they heard the sound of a voice being cleared way down on the floor.  
  
"Sumo!" Alec yelled and dropped Max to embrace the overweight squirrel. Sumo seemed unimpressed.  
  
"We're so glad you're back!" Max said scratching his head. "Where's Logan? You didn't kill him did you?"  
  
Sumo glared and handed her the note.  
  
"He got a parking ticket too?" Alec fumed. " I told you that Cop was out to get me."  
  
"Alec we have more important matters to attend to than the speeding ticket."  
  
"Such as?" As said pouting.  
  
"Whether or not we are going to go after Logan." Max said softly.  
  
Alec looked her in the eyes.  
  
"No." He said finally. "We have Sumo back that's all that's important."  
  
Max nodded.  
  
"We had better get back to Seattle we have a lot of loose ends to tie up like the Normal/Sandeman thing."  
  
"Hey I'm not tying up Normal!" Alec said. "I've already done the gladiator suit thing and that was enough. I'm never doing that again!"  
  
"Not even for me?" Max said coquettishly. Alec grabbed her and pulled her into a kiss.  
  
"I'd do anything for you."  
  
Behind them a forgotten Sumo grinned. It was time for him to go for a walk.  
  
  
  
Logan poured the chemicals from the clear bottles into a white plastic bucket. He swirled the mixture around and noticed that the beeper bits were indeed corroding at a faster rate. A noxious green gas began to form in the little closet. Clouding up towards an unsuspecting Logan. He breathed it in and began to take deep wheezing breaths. His hands reached for the door knob frantically fumbling. They came in contact with the bolt that Logan had turned when he had entered the closet. Logan realised his mistake and turned the bolt as he began to black out. The door came open and Logan fell into the hall unconscious. 


	21. The Funeral

The sun shone kindly on the group of black clad mourners as they accompanied an expensive oak coffin through the cemetery to its final resting-place. Max blinked back tears as she watched the coffin bearers stop and lower it into the ground. Not wanting to watch she buried her face on Alec's black suited shoulder. He put his arm around her in reassurance even though he felt tears stinging at his own eyes. He had witnessed many deaths in his life but none had ever touched him like this one.  
  
"I don't think we ever realised just how much…" Alec whispered choking on his words.  
  
"Nothing will ever be the same." Max whispered.  
  
Alec didn't speak but pulled her closer as much for his comfort as for hers.  
  
He glanced up at the squirrel filled tree above the grave, at Original Cindy who despite her best effort had tears tricking down her cheeks, and at Asha who was bawling her eyes out. Max was right nothing would ever be the same. The world had lost something very precious.  
  
  
  
Max knelt down and put flowers on the fresh grave. Softy she ran her fingers across the newly erected tombstone. Fingers paused and she bent her head in remorse.  
  
"This is all my fault." she gasped. "If we hadn't gone after him, if we hadn't…"  
  
"It's not your fault Max. It would have happened eventually." Alec said putting a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"I miss him so much." Max said. Alec nodded he knew exactly how she felt.  
  
"Me too." He said. Max rose shakily and clasped Alec's hand tightly.  
  
  
  
Sumo approached the grave alone with tears glistening in his eyes. He placed some red carnations on the grave and paused, reading the inscription.  
  
1 Here lie the remains of  
  
THE INDESTRUTABLE BEEPER  
  
b. January 26, 2020  
  
d. April 22, 2020  
  
He was an inspiration of greatness,  
  
Provided insight into our lives,  
  
And was the consciousness of the Squeak nation.  
  
May his life's work live on long after his untimely death.  
  
"I will avenge your death." Sumo swore vehemently. " I will find the person who did this and he will pay."  
  
  
  
  
  
A/n Ok I know it's short but I'm very busy right now. I just wanted to get something up because I got so many great reviews asking me to continue. Since I'm preparing for final exams right now most of the chapters will probably be very short. 


	22. Melted and Missing

Max stared down at the white linoleum floor. She couldn't help wondering why they put white linoleum in hospitals. It just got covered in blood and dirt and vomit. Max's lip curled back slightly in disgust at the thought. She hated hospitals. Not just the floors but the smell…and the noise… and the things they discovered. She could hear the beeping of machines, the swish of trolleys, the click of heels as they hurried down the halls. Click, click, click…Max buried her head between her hands trying to block it all out. Click, click, click. Feet paused in front of her. Max's head rose from her hands and followed scrub-clad legs up to a white doctor's coat.  
  
"Miss Guevera?" The doctor asked. Max nodded. "He'll see you now." Max took a deep breath. She had to be strong. She had to get through this even though she wanted to be far away. She owed this much to him. Without any outward protest she rose and followed the doctor down the corridor.  
  
  
  
Max held her breath as she slowly opened the door to the room. She could see him lying on the bed in a mound of pink blankets. He was turned away from her staring out the window seemingly oblivious to her presence. She cleared her throat and he turned to face her. Max gasped and fought the urge to run from the room vomiting.  
  
"Hey Max." Logan said in a breathy voice.  
  
"Llloggaaan" She stuttered trying to keep her cool. She tried not to gape openly at him.  
  
Logan's face was melted. His features were still Alec's but they seemed to have run down his face like wax off a candle. They were bumpy, stretched and all seemed to be in not quite the right place. The effect was worse than grotesque. It was nauseating.  
  
"What happened to your face? I mean I know you had the accident with the gas and the acid, but I didn't think that it would be like that. I thought it would be different. I mean I was expecting…" She babbled on nervously.  
  
"Oh that." Logan said rasping. "Apparently the materials that were in my face from my surgery had a bad reaction with one of the gases and melted." Max nodded. "My face is definatley not as bad as my lungs though." Logan continued. "The gas reacted with the water in my lung cells to create hydrochloric acid, which sat in my lungs burning away all my tissues. My eyes on the other hand are fine. The doctors said that it was fortunate that I was a computer nerd and not an athlete. Apparently too much time spent staring at video cameras and computer screens had crystallised my eyes making them oblivious to the gas."  
  
"That's…wonderful Logan. You know I'd better go." Max said turning to leave.  
  
"Max!" Logan cried out as she did so. "No ones been asking any questions have they?"  
  
"What sort of questions?"  
  
"Oh nothing…I mean…well I…have the police got involved?" Logan inquired his voice hushed.  
  
"Did someone do this to you Logan?" Max asked. Right now she really didn't care for Logan at all but if someone had hurt…  
  
"No no no," He cut off her thought. " Just curious. Have they found anything…suspicious?"  
  
"Nothing except the beeper." Max said.  
  
Logan tried unsuccessfully to stifle a sudden gasp.  
  
"Are you alright?" Max asked. "Do you want me to get a nurse?"  
  
"No it's alright you can go." He said regaining his composure.  
  
Max walked to the door. "Oh," She said remembering. "Sumo wanted to know if you minded him dropping by later?"  
  
"That would be nice." Logan said. "Bye Max."  
  
Logan stared up at the cracked ceiling and wondered if it would look similar to the ceiling of his jail cell. He could almost hear the stomping of policemens feet as they ran down the hall to his room.  
  
  
  
As soon as she was out in the hall Max dug in her purse. She had to call Alec. Something was totally wrong with Logan. He had not tried to make a single advance on her the entire time she was in there. And what was with those questions. Frustrated at being unable to find Scarlet Max set the bag down on the table and began pulling items out of it. Max became worried as she reached the bottom of her bag and still had not recovered her missing phone. She walked through the hospital searching for it. Now where would I have left it? She wondered finding herself phoneless and back where she started. Max grabbed her wallet, keys, and picture of Alec (one she had stolen from Normal's personal collection out of the pile of her belongings and shoved them in her purse.  
  
She spent the rest of the afternoon frantically searching for her lost phone. As dusk approached Max realised that she could no longer avoid the inevitable. She went over to the payphone on the wall and dialled. She fidgeted nervously as she listened to it ringing on the other end. Then she heard a click.  
  
"Alec here."  
  
"Hey" Max said softly.  
  
"Hey Max" Alec replied his voice softening a smile forming on his face.  
  
"Promise you won't get mad?" She asked hesitantly.  
  
"No." Alec replied suspiciously.  
  
"Please?"  
  
"There is a possibility I won't get mad if..."  
  
"I can't find Scarlet." Max blurted out.  
  
"What do you mean you can't find her?"  
  
"It means I can't find her!" Max almost cried. "Scarlet's missing Alec."  
  
  
  
A/n: I know it's been awhile since I've updated but with all the fanfiction.net craziness going down you know how it is. I will try and get a few more chapters up before I leave on Saturday (for a month and I won't have computer access) No promises though. 


	23. An

A/n Hey everyone! I know it's been an incredibly long time since I updated this story and I was just wondering if anyone is still interested in me continuing it or if I should scrap it and move on to a new story.  
  
Arwendle 


	24. When JellO attacks

It was late and the hospital was quiet except for the sounds of electronic beeps and the occasional doctor's shoes clicking on the white linoleum. Logan could not sleep. He peered into the shadows where he knew the police were waiting for him to fall asleep so they could drag him off to jail. Well Logan wasn't fooled. He was going to find them first. Cautiously, he peeped down under his bed like a small child inspecting for a monster. There was nothing there. The door creaked and opened a smidgen allowing a shape with a trolley to pass through. Logan, alerted by the light that cascaded into his room quickly retreated under the protective cover of his sheets. He lay trembling, and awaiting his fate. He squealed as something grabbed onto the covers and pulled them hard, causing Logan to tumble off the bed in a tangle of blankets. Logan felt hot breath on his cheeks and opened his eyes to see his attacker.  
  
  
  
Max sat in Alec and Joshua's living room and buried her head in her hands. How could this have happened? How could she have lost Scarlet? Alec was pacing back and forth.  
  
"When was the last time you remember having her?" He asked.  
  
"I don't know. I know I had her up on the roof the day we were attacked by the squirrels."  
  
"That was 2 months ago Max!" Alec cried. " I think you would have noticed that she was missing by now." They were startled by a faint beeping noise coming from inside the couch. They both froze in terrified silence.  
  
" Are you hearing what I'm hearing?" Alec asked tentatively. Max just nodded, then a huge grin spread on her face and she ripped the pillows off the couch. She rummaged around for a few seconds and came up triumphant with Scarlet, still ringing, in her hand. Alec grabbed her around the waist and swung her around in delight. " You know for a second there I thought it was the beeper come back from the dead to haunt us." Alec said smiling. Max laughed.  
  
" I thought that myself. But it was just Scarlet. I knew I couldn't have lost her." Max said gleefully.  
  
"But you could have Max. That's the point. You have to be a lot more careful with her. She could have been seriously hurt." Alec said becoming serious. "What if it wasn't the couch that found her but some psycho like Logan who massacres innocent technology? How would you feel knowing that it was your fault? I don't know if you could handle that. I think that you should give Scarlet to me until you are really ready for the responsibility." Max looked at Alec in shock and then her face broke into a smirk  
  
"Nice try Alec! Like you'd be any better. Two weeks ago you were dead set on destroying technology forever. I wouldn't trust myself leaving Scarlet in your hands."  
  
"The destroying technology thing is a small insignificant detail of the distant past."  
  
"You just want my phone."  
  
"Yes. But while we're on the issue of ownership, you shouldn't be calling it your phone. I do recall that I paid for it."  
  
" Because you threw my beeper off the Space Needle!"  
  
" Actually Max you threw it."  
  
"Yeah but you started it."  
  
"Yeah, I started it.So the phone's mine right?" Alec asked hopefully.  
  
"Your such an ass." Max said playfully. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck still holding the phone. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too." He said and kissed her softly. The phone right near his head was still ringing.  
  
"Maybe you had better answer that," he said. Max quickly answered the phone.  
  
"Hello?" she said into the phone.  
  
"Miss Guevera?" said the female voice on the other end.  
  
"Yes"  
  
"This is Harbour Lights Hospital. Your friend Logan Cale was attacked last night."  
  
"What! What happened? Do you know who?"  
  
"No we don't know anything. The nurse found him this morning. He was lying on the floor in all his sheets and."  
  
"And what?" Max almost yelled.  
  
" It appears as though he may have been forced to eat green Jell-O.  
  
"So?"  
  
"Bowls and bowls of it."  
  
"Is he alright?" Max asked.  
  
"He's been sent up to the psych ward for some tests but he appeared unharmed. We just thought we'd phone someone so he had a familiar face when he got back from his tests."  
  
"Ok I'll be there." Max clicked the off button and turned to Alec. "We have to go to the hospital. Logan's in the psych ward getting tested."  
  
"It's about time." Alec said grabbing his coat. Max punched him playfully knowing that he had overheard the entire conversation.  
  
" Ouch! Max that hurt." Alec said in mock distress.  
  
"Not as much as it's going to if you don't get your ass moving." She said and pushed him out the door.  
  
  
  
Logan glanced nervously out the window in the white room. The Doctor in the white coat was talking to him but Logan couldn't focus on his words. He kept glancing out the window at the squirrels. He leaned over to the doctor and whispered to him conspiratorially. "Be careful what you say. The squirrels are watching us."  
  
"The squirrels?" The doctor said turning his head to look at them.  
  
"No, don't look!" Logan hissed. "They'll know we're talking about them. Just be careful. They're sneaky."  
  
The doctor raised an eyebrow. "How are they sneaky Mr. Cale?" he asked.  
  
" They pretend that they are just stupid animals that have lost their nuts, but they aren't. They can talk."  
  
"What do you mean by lost their nuts?" The doctor prompted.  
  
"Squirrels always bury nuts in the ground and forget where they bury them. Or at least that's what they'd like us to think. I believe that the nuts are actually used to send messages through the underground root system to other squirrels. Just like the internet or our telephone system."  
  
"Fascinating, Mr. Cale. Now when did you first suspect that the squirrels were more than they appeared?"  
  
"Well it's hard to say but I think the first time was when the squirrels started throwing all my technological stuff out the window of my penthouse."  
  
"Why did the squirrels throw your technology out the window?"  
  
"Because they wanted to destroy it. Not just my technology, but all technology. They were going to recreate the pulse."  
  
"Astounding, Mr. Cale." The doctor said ruffling through the papers in front of him. "I'm going to show you some ink blots now, and you are going to tell me what you see. Do you understand?" Logan nodded his head and the doctor held up a large fat blot.  
  
"That's Sumoziah." Logan said without hesitation.  
  
"Who is Sumoziah?"  
  
"Sumoziah is Alec's huge squirrel bodyguard."  
  
"Who is Alec?"  
  
"The bastard who stole my girlfriend from me. The only reason she is with him is because she finds him attractive. I looked like him before my face melted." The doctor desperately wanted to ask Logan how his face had melted but he was getting off track so he sighed and pulled out another inkblot. This one was hundreds of tiny little specks. Logan gasped when he saw it.  
  
"It's Max's indestructible beeper."  
  
  
  
Max stood up as the doctor entered the room.  
  
"Is he alright?" She asked.  
  
"I think we had better talk about this sitting down." The doctor said. Max sat down in the chair next to Alec. She reached out and grabbed his hand fingers entwining in support. " Logan is psychologically unstable. He has created a delusional fantasy world in which he is stalked endlessly by killer squirrels. I believe that the squirrels represent Logan's anger at being dependent on technology. He also feels great animosity towards Alec and the relationship that he has with you.  
  
Max nodded. "What about his attacker?"  
  
"We have every reason to believe that this incident was self inflicted. It is very possible that Mr. Cale simply believed he was being attacked because of his extreme paranoia and phantasms."  
  
"What do you suggest we do?" Max asked.  
  
"I think that he should stay here for the time being." The doctor said.  
  
"Do you think that's really necessary?" she said.  
  
"I think he should have been here a long time ago Miss Guevera."  
  
Logan was dosing on the bed when something heavy landed on his chest. Logan's eyes snapped open and saw Sumo sitting contentedly.  
  
"Hi Sumo." Logan said smiling.  
  
" Not 'Hi Sumo.'" Sumo said crossing his arms. "Sumo very angry."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Sumo angry you lied. You say Sumo pay ticket I pay you back. Sumo pay. You no pay  
  
Sumo."  
  
"I will get you the money Sumo."  
  
"When?"  
  
"Soon."  
  
"Sumo wants money now!"  
  
"I don't have it right now." Logan said desperately.  
  
"You pay 500 later."  
  
"Wait a second! The ticket was only 275" Logan protested. Sumo just looked at him.  
  
"Fine" Logan said. "500"  
  
"Good." Sumo said getting a twinkle in his eye. He pulled a bowl off the tray he had brought. "Green Jell-O for Logan."  
  
A/n: Thanks you guys for all the support I got on continuing this story. I had no idea my story was still so popular. You guys are the best. I will try to update frequently but I am pretty busy so probably updates will be mostly on weekends. 


	25. Motorcycles, Forms and Grease

"Max!" Alec hollered as he entered the house.  
  
"In here!" came the reply from across the house. Alec walked into the room to find Max up to her elbows in grease and her Motorcycle in parts all around her. "Where've you been?" She asked absent-mindedly brushing some hair off her face leaving a black streak behind.  
  
"Doing a couple of chores. Hey, I got you something." He said rummaging through his bags. He finally came up with a little jewellery box and tossed it to her nonchalantly. She caught it in one blackened hand and examined it.  
  
"What's this?" she asked.  
  
"Open it." He said seemingly uninterested but his hands were shaking. Max opened it cautiously and gasped when she saw two identical silver rings. On the inside of one of the bands the word Alec was engraved and in the other the word Max. She looked up at Alec questioningly.  
  
"Long story." He burst out. "I was in a jewellery store and the shop girl kept hitting on me. I kept telling her that I had a beautiful girlfriend who I was very much in love with but I guess she didn't believe me. Anyway, she wouldn't stop and I couldn't take it anymore so I said that I was there to look into engagement rings. That shut her up, but then she started showing me all of these rings and I felt guilty so I bought a pair. Then she asked me what I wanted engraved in them and I couldn't think of anything so I told her to engrave our names. Besides, I've heard that if you have a ring on your finger you can use it to deter unwanted advances."  
  
"Alec are you asking me to marry you?" Max asked.  
  
Alec hesitated. He tried to say yes but "Nah, I just thought that you might like it. Besides I can't give it to anyone else can I?" Came out of his throat instead. Alec cursed himself.  
  
Max nodded trying to hide her disappointment. She took one of the bands out of the box and slipped it on her ring finger. Then she snapped the box shut and tossed it back to Alec who caught it easily.  
  
"Thankyou Alec it is very nice." She said.  
  
"Good, I'm glad you like it. I'll go put the groceries away." Alec said flicking open the box and turning to go.  
  
"I do have one question though." Max said. "Why didn't you just leave the jewellery store and go to a different one?"  
  
Alec froze as much from her words as from what he saw in the box.  
  
"And why were you in a jewellery store in the first place?" She continued.  
  
Alec stared down at the box. Engraved on the ring inside it was the word 'Max'. *Maybe. * He thought. Alec turned around slowly. Max didn't think she had ever seen him look that scared.  
  
"I was looking for a ring." He said softly.  
  
"But you said."  
  
"I lied Max. I want to marry you." He stepped forward and took her hands in his. "I want you to want to marry me."  
  
"If you ask nicely I might consider it." She said stepping closer towards him.  
  
Alec swallowed the lump in his throat.  
  
"Max, will you." Alec never got to finish. Scarlet rang and cut him off. " You'd better get that." He said.  
  
  
  
"What!" Max said irritatedly into the phone.  
  
"Miss Guevera?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
" This is Bertha from the Psychiatric Ward at Harbour Lights Hospital. We have some forms that you need to fill out so that we can admit Mr. Cale. Would you mind coming down here to pick them up?"  
  
"No not at all." Max said her voice saying otherwise."  
  
"Good. The sooner they are filled out the sooner Mr. Cale can begin treatment."  
  
Max hung up the phone. She turned to Alec. " We have to go back to the hospital." Max grabbed a rag and rubbed of the grease as best she could.  
  
Alec nodded. Without a word he pulled the ring out of the box and placed it on his finger. Then he headed towards the door.  
  
  
  
The woman at the reception desk didn't even look up as Max strolled up to her. She continued typing out whatever she was working on and completely ignored Max.  
  
"Hi," Said Max, trying to get the woman's attention. "I'm here for some forms I have to fill out."  
  
The woman kept on typing. Max noticed that her nametag said Bertha. It was the same woman who had called her.  
  
"Excuse me." Max said again. " I think you called me earlier and told me to come down here and pick them up."  
  
The woman grunted noncommittally.  
  
"Hey, don't ignore me! You called me." Max said getting frustrated.  
  
"Ma'am, there is a line." The receptionist said. "Now if you'll please take a seat."  
  
Max grumpily sat down on a hard plastic waiting room chair. She looked around. The room was empty. *Line, my ass. * She thought.  
  
Alec walked up to Max and handed her some vending machine coffee.  
  
"Did you get the forms?" He asked.  
  
Max shook her head. "The receptionist is ignoring me."  
  
Alec smiled. "Leave it up to me." He sauntered over to the reception desk and with in 2 minutes had the forms they needed.  
  
Max looked back as they left to see the receptionist about to melt like a puddle over Alec's retreating form.  
  
  
  
Back at the house Max stared at the stack of papers on the table. It was huge. " How many forms do you have to fill out to have someone committed to a mental institution?" She asked rhetorically. "Apparently 1027 fun filled pages of difficult and purposeless information." Alec answered. "Well we'd better get this started then." She said pulling out a pen. "Name." She read off the paper. "See Alec, this isn't that difficult." She wrote Logan Cale down on the paper. "Actually Max," Alec said leaning over her shoulder. "It says here, they want the last name first. So, it's actually Cale, Logan." Max scratched out Logan Cale and replaced it with Cale, Logan.  
  
"Ok, next question." She said.  
  
"But what about his middle name?" Alec asked, "Do we know it?"  
  
"Does he have one?"  
  
"How should I know? He's your ex-boyfriend."  
  
"That doesn't mean I know it. Do you think I could make one up for him? Would that work?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Ok.How about Michael?" Max said pulling a name from thin air.  
  
"You're kidding right?" was Alec's response.  
  
"What's wrong with Michael?"  
  
"Nothing's wrong with Michael. I just thought that you were joking. I mean really Max, what kind of a name is Michael?"  
  
"A very common one?"  
  
"Wow, there are a lot of cruel parents in the world." Alec said. "How 'bout leaving that space blank for the moment."  
  
"I just don't see what's wrong with Michael."  
  
"There is nothing specifically wrong with it. It's just like all the other names you give people, Max."  
  
"So you're saying you don't like your name now?"  
  
"No that wasn't what I said at."  
  
"Then what were you saying?"  
  
"That Michael is just a bit blah for my tastes. I mean it's sort of boring and regular and uninteresting."  
  
Max just looked at him.  
  
"And perfect for Logan." He finished. "Ok. Moving on to the next question."  
  
"Insurance number."  
  
3 hours later  
  
"Max, I want Logan locked up in the mental hospital as much as the next guy but we need to take a break."  
  
"Shh.Alec don't bug me I'm trying to figure out Logan's shoe size."  
  
"How exactly?"  
  
"Well there is a simple mathematical formula that should give me the average shoe size for a man of Logan's height."  
  
"Good, because Logan's height is my next question."  
  
"Well, that's the problem. I don't really know."  
  
Alec threw the form down in frusteration. "Max, there is no way that anyone actually fills out these entire forms. It's not humanly possible. Besides I don't even know ¾'s of these answers about myself. How about we go out for a little while, relax, eat and then come back and finish these." Alec said slowly taking the pen out of Max's hand.  
  
"But they need to get done as soon as possible." Max said.  
  
" We'll get someone else to do them."  
  
"There is no one else." Max said glumly.  
  
"What about Sumo?" Alec suggested as their rodent companion lumbered into the room.  
  
"Can Sumo even read?" Max asked.  
  
"Sure he can." Alec assured her. "Sumo can you read, right?"  
  
Sumo grunted and looked offended.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes. How would you feel about filling out these forms for me?"  
  
Sumo jumped up on the table took one look at the papers and shook his head in disgust.  
  
"Logan's middle name Francis." He said and began to scribble furiously. 


	26. Enter Sally

The music was pounding as Max and Alec entered Crash. Max had wanted to go but now that she was there she was getting a bit nervous about leaving Sumo with all that paperwork.  
  
" What if he gets confused and there is no one there to help him?" Max worried to Alec.  
  
"He'll be fine." Alec assured her as he headed towards the bar to order drinks.  
  
Some guy reached out to grab Max's ass as she walked by. Max turned socked him and kept going without missing a step. The man fell to the ground hissing in pain and groping his groin.  
  
"Max you really need to learn to solve your problems without violence." Said Alec only half joking as he came up to her and handed her a beer.  
  
"I do all the time." Max protested.  
  
"Uh-huh." Alec said disbelievingly.  
  
"Hey!" said Max punching him on the shoulder. " I rarely use violence."  
  
"Sure, is that why you just punched me?"  
  
"That's different. I didn't want to be non-violent. If I wanted too I could restrain myself from hitting people."  
  
" So, what you are saying is that if I bet you say. 50$ for you to try and not physically or mentally scar someone within the next 24 hours I would lose?"  
  
"You are so on." Max said  
  
"I can already feel the money Max. Hey, look." Alec pointed across to the door. "It's Normal."  
  
"What's he doing here?" Max said disgusted.  
  
" Well it looks like we're about to find out." Alec said as Normal made his way over to them.  
  
"Look involved. Maybe he'll leave us alone." Max hissed.  
  
It didn't work. Normal came up to their table and pulled up a chair.  
  
"How are my two favourite employees tonight?" He said cheerfully.  
  
"Um fine.What are you doing here?" Max said harshly.  
  
"Well I sort of need to talk to you reprobates and I can't exactly do it at work. Too high profile. I don't want to draw attention."  
  
"So you came to the bar where all your employees go after work to talk to us? Smart one Normal. You'd think being a." Max stopped mid sentence. Alec was smirking at her he raised his hand and rubbed his fingers together in the money symbol.  
  
"No way!" Max raged. " I haven't done."  
  
"Fork over the cash Max." Alec grinned.  
  
"Alec you are such a fuc." Max stopped herself. Alec's eyes were twinkling. She saw his plan. " You didn't fool me for a second Alec." She said proud of herself for catching his ploy.  
  
"Ah the night is young Maxie. Who's up for a game of pool? Anyone? Max?" Alec asked.  
  
"No way. You know what happens when we play pool." Max retorted.  
  
"Well now that you mention it..." Alec replied "Hey Normal how bout a game? I'll let you break."  
  
"You are on goldenboy." Normal replied as he and Alec made their way over to the pool tables. Alec turned.  
  
"Max you coming?" he asked.  
  
"Nah. I think I'm going to call Sumo and see what he's up to."  
  
Sumo had transformed Alec and Joshua's kitchen into squirrel army headquarters. Sumo had realised early that there was no way that he could finish Logan's admittance papers alone. So he had called in reinforcements. Every available space from the top of the refrigerator to underneath the table was occupied by teams of squirrels each working on a thick stack of papers. Sumo walked around like a stern general and oversaw the progress, which despite the amount of squirrel power was still moving incredibly slow. Every once in a while he would climb the wall to check on the team in the light fixture or leave the room to answer the phone when Max called, but mostly Sumo was pacing the floor. He was waiting impatiently for the papers to be finished, waiting for Logan to be locked up forever. He glanced up at the clock. The next shift of squirrels should be arriving soon. Fresh squirrels would work faster.  
  
  
  
Max hung up Scarlet. She had no reason to worry about Sumo. He was fine just like Alec had said. Max thought. She wondered about the status of their relationship. Were they engaged now? It was never official. She caught the glint of Alec's ring across the room as he lazily hit a ball into a pocket. She smiled and started to walk towards him. She was confident that even if they weren't engaged now they would be in the near future which technically really made them engaged. Halfway across the room Max was stopped by a guy who was attempting to pick her up.  
  
"Hey baby, what's your name?" He said standing close to her and blocking her route.  
  
Her first impulse was to leave him writhing in pain on the floor and keep going but she remembered her little bet with Alec.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm really not interested." She said and tried to walk past him. The man didn't budge. Obviously no didn't mean no anymore.  
  
"Excuse me." She said a little more forcefully.  
  
"Oh c'mon give me a chance. Can I at least buy you a drink?"  
  
"I'm kinda busy." She really just wanted to kick him but Alec was looking at her now.  
  
"Ok just one."  
  
"I'm Brian." he said and offered his hand.  
  
Max didn't take it but made her way over to the bar. Brian sat down beside her and started to hit on her unmercifully. Max held her hand up and began to very obviously play with her ring. Brian didn't get the hint. He reminded her of Logan. She shuddered at the thought. Max tried to smile and be pleasant. Her patience was slipping fast and she hoped that she wasn't going to lose the bet so quickly.  
  
From across the room Alec watch the scene in a haze of jealousy. Max was actually let herself get picked up. Figures the guy would resemble Logan too.  
  
"Your shot." Said Normal who was already down 150$.  
  
There was a collective gasp as Alec missed the shot. He didn't care. The guy was brushing hair back from Max's face. Alec could see him tracing the outline of her ear softly. Throwing down his cue, Alec marched over to the bar.  
  
"Hey Max" He said coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her. His fingers entertwined with hers so that their twin rings were clearly visible side by side. "Who you talking to?"  
  
"Just some guy." Max said.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't know. I mean I saw the ring but."  
  
"You were too busy trying to pick me up that you forgot to enquire if I was engaged?" Max said.  
  
"I'm gonna go." Brian said and quickly vacated his seat.  
  
  
  
"Going sounds nice." Alec whispered in Max's ear. She nodded. They headed towards the door hand in hand and were almost free when Normal cut them off.  
  
Sumo almost smiled when the next shift of squirrels arrived. Almost. He sat on the table and watched the stream of fresh workers enter the room. That's when he saw her. The most beautiful squirrel Sumo had ever seen was walking straight towards him. Sumo managed to compose himself as she stopped in front of him. She looked at him inquiringly and Sumo could almost feel his jaw hit the floor. Salaziah was standing beside her and decided to break the awkward silence.  
  
"Sumo this is my sister Sallyzoah."  
  
"Hi." She said sounding disinterested.  
  
Sumo grunted a semi response and then growled at them to "Get to work."  
  
  
  
"Alec." Normal said standing very much inside Alec's personal space. "I think that they are looking for me."  
  
"Who?" Alec asked.  
  
Normal leaned closer. "Manticore. I have reason to believe I may have been compromised. I need a safe place to stay for a couple of days until I can arrange something."  
  
Alec sighed a deep sigh. He already was regretting this. "You can stay with us Normal." He said.  
  
Sumo continued his constant surveillance of his employees as they laboured through the forms. He didn't, he told himself, visit Sallyzoah's group anymore frequently than the others it was just that it was placed in a location that required him to walk close by several times each rotation. It had nothing to do with Salaziah's sister. Nothing at all. 


	27. Dissapearing Towels and Advice

An/ To all my fellow Canadians out there. Happy Thanksgiving!  
  
Max pulled her motorcycle up in front of the Space Needle. Alec jumped off quickly and before Max could do anything he had lifted her gently off her motorcycle.  
  
"Alec what are you doing?" She asked confused.  
  
"I'm doing this right." He said as he began to walk, Max still in his arms, up the Space Needle stairs. He carried her the whole way to the top then sat down gasping for breath. Max sat down beside him.  
  
"Why did you want to come up here?" She asked?  
  
Alec didn't answer. He just turned and looked at her with soulful eyes. "Max.will you marry me?" he asked softly.  
  
All of a sudden Max couldn't speak. All she could do was squeak out a yes.  
  
They sat at the top for a long time before they finally descended to the street. Alec was in ecstasy. She had said yes. He gripped her tightly as she steered the bike through the streets of Seattle.  
  
Max stopped in front of a bakery. Alec looked at her questioningly.  
  
"Um.Max. I think you might be a little lost. This isn't our house."  
  
"I'm aware of that Alec. I just thought that it would be nice to pick up a treat for Sumo. I mean he has been filling out those stupid medical forms all evening."  
  
"You're right. He'll definitely need something big and chocolate."  
  
  
  
Sumo's eyes lit up when Alec presented him with a huge chocolate cake. Grinning he dragged his prize onto one of the living room chairs and began to devour it. He was well on his way to being done when he felt someone tapping at his shoulder. Sumo turned to see Sallyzoah standing behind him. His heart fluttered but he tried to look stern and unaffected.  
  
"Can I have some?" She asked.  
  
"Get your own." He snapped.  
  
Sally paid him no head and began nibbling on the cake.  
  
Sumo growled. Sally glanced at him and flashed a gorgeous smile before finishing her lump of cake and disappearing back into the kitchen. Sumo glared angrily after her until she was out of sight and then sighed. He needed some advice.  
  
  
  
Alec was in the shower when the doorbell rang. Max, who had pretty much officially moved in by now, went to answer the door. Normal was standing on the doorstep with all his stuff. Max reluctantly let him in.  
  
They were piling boxes in the living room when she heard Alec cry out from the washroom.  
  
"Max, where's my blue towel?  
  
"It's in the laundry. Use mine." She called back.  
  
A minute or two later Alec emerged into the room dressed in a much smaller than usual blue towel. Normal began to salivate. Luckily, Alec headed towards his room to change before the drool could form a puddle.  
  
The door creaked open as Alec pulled on his shirt. He turned and saw Sumo entering the room. Alec shrugged to himself and began to search unsuccessfully for a pair of matching clean socks. Sumo jumped on the bed and made himself comfortable in the covers.  
  
"Hey Sumo. What's up buddy?" Alec asked still searching for the socks.  
  
"Nothing." Sumo said and disappeared under the covers.  
  
"Uh-huh." Alec said not very interestedly. "Where is that damn sock!?" He was on his hands and knees searching under the bed. It wasn't there. Sitting up straight he came face to face with his large squirrel bodyguard. "Sumo is there something bothering you?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"No!" Sumo spat and attempted to retreat under the covers again but Alec reached out and grabbed his leg.  
  
"So there is absolutely no reason why you've been following me around ever since I got home?"  
  
"No.maybe.I don't know." Sumo said in defeat. The room was silent for a couple of seconds. "I met a girl." Sumo said finally his whiskers twitching nervously.  
  
"A girl?" Alec replied his socks now totally forgotten. " A girl squirrel?" Sumo nodded.  
  
"Who you like?"  
  
Sumo nodded again.  
  
"And you want my advice?"  
  
Sumo nodded. Alec sighed.  
  
"Well." Alec began.  
  
Max was sitting in the living room wondering why Alec was taking so damn long. Normal was downstairs with Joshua, the squirrels were still busy with the paperwork in the kitchen and Alec was in his room doing god knows what. She was about to storm into his room, when he appeared with a huge grin on his face.  
  
"Where have you been?" She hissed at him angrily raising a hand to grab his shirt.  
  
"Maxie remember our wager." Alec said in a singsong voice.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. So what were you doing?"  
  
"Giving Sumo some manly advice." Alec replied trying to keep the glee out of his voice.  
  
"Why would Sumo need advice from you?"  
  
"He has a crush." He whispered in her ear.  
  
"No way. Who?"  
  
"Salaziah's sister."  
  
"Which one is that?"  
  
"I have no clue. Want to go check it out?" He asked nodding towards the kitchen.  
  
"Oh yeah!" said Max scrambling up.  
  
  
  
They entered the kitchen casually glancing around for any potential candidates. The squirrels looked up at them in awe. Many of them had never been in the presence of the Squirrel gods before. One female squirrel was bawling loudly in joy.  
  
"I really hope it's not that one." Alec said under his breath to Max. "I don't think I could stand to have her in the family."  
  
Max nodded her agreement. Then Max saw her. She was standing next to Salaziah. Alec saw her too and walked over to them.  
  
"Hey, SZ! Long time no see man." He said to Salaziah as he gave him a high five with his finger. "How's this operation going?" He said referring to the forms.  
  
"Almost done. We're predicting about 6 more hours."  
  
"Awesome. I'll let you get back to it."  
  
"Oh Alec I almost forgot." Salaziah said as Alec turned away. "This is my sister Sallyzoah. She just arrived in Seattle today."  
  
"Nice to meet you Sally." Alec said and shook her hand. "I hope you are making some new friends."  
  
Sally nodded and gave a shy smile. Then Alec dragged Max back to his room where they carefully closed the door and compared impressions.  
  
  
  
It was late when Normal finally stalked into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He had been moving in all day and he just had a few things left. He set all his toiletries up in a neat line beside the sink and filled up his quarter of the medicine cabinet. Last he turned to hang his towel on the towel rack. He paused, Alec's towel was hanging there. Normal reached out and touched it. It invoked the memory of earlier that evening and he smiled. That towel had looked awfully nice on Alec. An evil idea popped into Normal's head. He grabbed all the towels off the rack except for a small hand towel and ran back to his room. Pleased with himself Normal stashed the towels under his bed and went to sleep.  
  
Normal was up early the next morning. He wandered outside to get the morning paper and was surprised by the number of leaves that had fallen on the porch. He picked one up and shoved it in his pocket. Holding the paper he went back inside. By the time Alec awoke Normal was sitting reading the newspaper in a chair that was conveniently opposite to the bathroom door. He watched Alec trudge into the bathroom looking rumpled and still half- asleep and smiled as he heard the water turn on and opera singing drift from the shower. The singing abruptly halted and a loud exclamation erupted from the bathroom.  
  
Alec opened the door and stormed out into the hall dressed only in an iddy- biddy handtowel. Normal's tongue fell out in appreciation.  
  
"Ok. Who the hell keeps taking the towels?" Alec swore.  
  
"Maybe you should take a towel in with you next time." Max suggested entering the room. "Though I must say you look especially hot in the one you've got on." Alec grinned and pulled her into a kiss then he sped off down the hall to change.  
  
Alec walked into the living room holding his coffee. He knew that he had just had a shower but the way that Normal was looking at him was making him feel the compulsion to scrub his skin until it was raw. He sat himself down in one of the chairs only to feel something squish beneath him. He had sat on Sumo's chocolate cake, which miraculously hadn't been finished. Alec looked down at the mess.  
  
"I think I'm going to have another shower." He said. Alec took off his clothes in his room and threw them in the laundry basket. He grabbed a towel off the floor and headed towards the bathroom.  
  
"Hey squirrelly squirrelly." Normal called to Sally who had come to devour the remains of the chocolate cake. She looked at him.  
  
" I'll give you 50$ if you do something for me." He said. Sally was intrigued. 50$ was a lot of cake.  
  
Normal pulled the leaf out of his pocket and handed it to her.  
  
Alec reached for his towel and found only air. Concerned he stuck his head out into the bathroom. His towel was gone. In its place was a single leaf.  
  
"This is a VERY sick joke!" he yelled looking around the bathroom for anything more substantial than that flimsy little leaf. Finding nothing, Alec picked up the little leaf and sprinted to his room. The door was locked and Alec turned to find Normal looking like he was about to devour him. Normal reached towards Alec but he was yanked back and slammed against the wall.  
  
"Keep your hands off my man." She said and Normal slumped groaning to the floor.  
  
"Thanks Max. I really appreciated that." Alec said. "There is however the issue of the 50$ you owe me."  
  
"Getting to see you wearing only a leaf without the distraction of Normal drooling on you makes it worth every penny." she said. 


	28. Washing Up

Sumo glanced nervously around him as he made his way down the hall to the bathroom towing a bag of toiletries behind him. He froze. Normal was lying in an unconscious heap directly in front of him. Cautiously he stepped up onto Normal's torso. He waited for some reaction. Nothing. Sumo took another step. He could hear rhythmic noises coming from Alec's room. Sumo smiled. Alec had got his girl, which meant that his advice was good. Now if he could only get to the bathroom before someone saw him everything would be perfect. He took another step and hopped down off of Normal. The bag clunked down behind him. Sumo froze sniffing the air alertly. He quickly stuffed the bag up Normal's shirt and tried to look casual.  
  
Max and Alec emerged from the door behind him completely oblivious to anyone but themselves. Alec glanced down at Normal's incapacitated form and took a pulse. He grinned at the knowledge that Normal wasn't dead just.resting.  
  
"Gees Max did you have to hit him so hard?" He asked jokingly.  
  
"Under the circumstances yes." Came Max's reply. "No one touches this body but me."  
  
She said running a hand down his sternum.  
  
"I can deal with that," he said kissing her quickly as he made his way over Normal and out into the kitchen with Max following close behind.  
  
Sumo made a mad dash for the bathroom. Once inside he barred the door quickly and climbed up onto the toilet before making a none too graceful leap into the sink. He put the plug in and began filling it with water. He looked around to make sure that he had everything he needed before he plugged his nose and ducked under the water. He came up spluttering and reached for the shampoo. He had never done this before but desperate times called for desperate measures.  
  
A thorough soap, shampoo and condition later Sumo climbed out of the sink, dripping wet. It was then that he realised that he hadn't brought a towel. He looked futilely around for something to dry himself with and found even less than Alec had. Then he noticed Max's hair dryer sitting on the shelf. Awkwardly, he maneuvered it so that it was facing him and turned it on. Hot air blasted Sumo who soon resembled a ball of fluff, but a dry one. Next Sumo combed, gelled, plucked, trimmed and manipulated his hair and whiskers into submission. He grinned at his reflection in the mirror. He looked hot except that his teeth were a bit too yellow. Sumo grabbed a toothbrush and began brushing his teeth with whitening toothpaste, not an easy task to do with a full sized human toothbrush. Sumo put down the toothbrush and dug through his bag of toiletries. He came up with a roll off mint floss.  
  
The flossing was a disaster for Sumo. Every time he wedged the floss between his sharp teeth the wax string would snap and fray. After several attempts he threw the floss away in frustration and decided it was absurd for a squirrel to floss anyway. Perfectly cleaned and manicured he emerged from the bathroom ready for step 2 on Alec's list of ways to win a woman.  
  
Alec hoisted the box containing Logan's admittance papers on to his lap as he sat on his bike.  
  
"I'll take these to the hospital before work" he said to Max as he began to peddle with amazing ease while balancing the box on his thighs.  
  
"You don't have time. You'll be late for work again." Came Max's reply. She wanted him to go take the forms in but still she had a desire to contradict whatever he said sometimes just because he said it. Old habits died hard she guessed.  
  
"Max is Normal still lying unconscious in the hall?" Alec asked  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then I think I have time." He said with a grin. He kissed her quickly and began to peddle rapidly towards the hospital. Max just smiled after him.  
  
  
  
Halfway to the hospital Alec was lost deep in thought. He was imaging his future children and trying to name them. He had decided that he was going to name his first daughter Heather.or maybe Samantha and was about to move on to boys names when the front bicycle tire caught in a rut. Alec did an impressive flip over the handlebars and landed perfectly on his feet. The box wasn't so fortunate and landed sprawlingly on its side. The carefully packaged forms spilled onto the street. Alec hastily shoved them back in the box but not before the wind picked up several and carried them away. Alec swore vehemently as the liberated forms landed in the water and disintegrated into nothingness. Maybe they wouldn't notice he reason as he got back on his bike and rode slowly on to the hospital.  
  
Normal awoke feeling groggy and disoriented. He was lying in the hall but he couldn't remember how he had got there. He rubbed his pounding head and things started coming back to him. The image of Alec dripping wet and dressed only in a leaf replayed over and over in his head and he grinned. He liked the idea of a wet Alec. Despite the throbbing in his brain Normal began to plot anew. Within moments he had formed an elaborate plan involving white t-shirts, sprinklers and Alec. He rose from his semi- recumbant position against the wall and immediately set to making his plan a reality.  
  
Bertha looked annoyed as she saw the stack of damp forms slam down on the desk in front of her. Her expression changed when she saw who had put them there. She stared dreamily up at Alec who flashed a grin at her.  
  
"So, everything is fine here?" He said preparing to leave.  
  
" I just have to make sure all the paperwork is in order first." She said a little flirtatiously.  
  
"That's fine." Alec said still standing patiently beside the desk.  
  
Bertha flicked quickly through the paperwork deliberately licking her thumb seductively after each page. As time dragged on Alec began to feel a little impatient and glanced at his watch several times a minute. Would the woman hurry up already? After half an hour Alec had had enough.  
  
"Bertha, I really have to get to work now." He said.  
  
She stopped dead and stared at him.  
  
"You can't leave. What if something comes up?" She protested.  
  
"Call me on my cell phone." He said scribbling the number down on a scrap of paper.  
  
Bertha leaned forward exageratingly showing off her cleavage as she took the number from him.  
  
Alec didn't know how to react. In the past he would have taken her up on her obvious advances and forgotten about her the next day. That wasn't an option now that he had Max and he had found the advances of women to be rather uncomfortable things recently. It's a pain in the ass being so damn hot, he thought as he turned to leave.  
  
The employees of Jam Pony froze in shock as Normal entered an hour and a half late. Rumours quickly circulated about his whereabouts. The most popular theory was that he had taken a vacation back to his home planet, but the fact that he might have a love interest was close behind. Normal was oblivious to these speculations as he pulled out the Jam Pony blue prints and began to make calculations.  
  
Sumo strolled purposefully into the kitchen wearing the sexiest grin he could muster. Sally was sitting on the counter devouring a tub of ice cream and didn't even glance when he jumped up beside her.  
  
"Hey," Sumo said non-commitally. He'd been practising that particular 'hey' all day to make sure that it came across with the right effect.  
  
Sally obliviously grunted in reply and continued to dig through the ice cream.  
  
Damn she was hot! Sumo thought to himself. Then all of his well-rehearsed words flew out of his head. The silence seemed never ending as he tried to decide what to do. His heart began to beat rapidly and he felt like he had to say something before she thought him completely inembriated.  
  
"So.uh.uh.what flavour is that." He asked and immediately mentally cursed himself. That question was so stupid. It was obvious that she was eating triple chocolate cherry fudge cheesecake. Anyone could see that! She must think I'm a complete moron.  
  
"Triple chocolate cherry fudge cheesecake." She said grinning. "My favourite." Then she looked at him and Sumo felt his knees go weak.  
  
"Sumo are you ok?" She asked concerned. "You don't look to well."  
  
"Sumo fine." He replied shortly, trying to control his rapid heartbeat. This was a dumb idea he decided. Sally was way too pretty and smart. How could he ever have thought that she could possibly like someone like him? He began to slink away when Sally reached out and caught his arm.  
  
"Do you want to help me finish off my ice-cream?" She asked timidly.  
  
After much careful deliberation Normal brought out the sidewalk chalk and made careful X's on strategically located locations on the floor of Jam Pony. His employee's looked on with thinly veiled curiosity. It appeared that Normal had gone off his rocker entirely. Normal just smiled to himself. His plan was complete. Now all he had to do was wait.  
  
Before Alec even left the hospital his cell phone rang. Bertha had found a missing page. Alec swore ripely to himself and headed back up the stairs to the psych ward.  
  
  
  
A/n This is the last chapter of Beeper Wars I am posting at ff.net. In the future all my updates will be found at NWP. 


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